Thought y'all might appreciate this...Marshawn Pinch, everyone—from Seattle's Aquarium.

Not many, actually. I saw one or two, but Austin is more of a college football town and, once again, it really is a soccer bar. They're more likely to show La Liga matches than NFL games.

I'm an American—a Texan, too. My friend and I met at soccer bar at 7:30 this morning to watch the early games. By the 10 o'clock games, about 100 people were there just to watch soccer.

Mama June has one of the most infuriating faces I've ever seen.

Never underestimate "old man game". Those guys have been at it for a while.

You'd be surprised, though, how many 35+ guys can get dates with 25 year old or younger women. Shit, right off the top of my head, I can think of 3 women I know who are dating someone more than 10 years their senior - one of whom is my sister!

If I'm going for unapologetically loud, bourbon is usually my drink of choice too.

CTRL+ALT+Down Arrow: Inverts the screen in a second. CTRL+ALT+Up Arrow fixes it.

Not sure. How far can said 4 year old punt a football?

Instead of the "the long goodbye", we should now call Alzheimer's "the Brett Favre".

Team name changed: "The Longest Yard".

Do you see what happens when you make your funny, funny jokes? DO YOU SEE!?!?

Vengeance is not justice. One can hate what Ray Rice did without resorting to bloodlust.

Nah, there's ways to get around these kind of preferences:

Faulkner and Hemingway weren't available for comment that day.

Budgets and dockets, you gotta manage 'em somehow.

The evidence wasn't really an issue here. It was Ray Rice's lack of a criminal record that led to the pre-trial intervention. A trial would've handed Ray a sentence of probation - still no jail time.

[Atlantic County prosecutor] McClain said the video would have been enough evidence against Rice to get a conviction at trial, even without Palmer's cooperation. But all that would have come after the headlines and the daily coverage would be a probationary sentence, "and it's not fair to the victim to put her through…

Really, it comes down to that old saying: the devil you know...is probably the one you're more comfortable with and, thus, more likely to be alone with.

Way to be inclusive.