This is obviously poor reporting on the author’s part. The last time there was a dick in Miami to smash, it was called an Incognito.

Did Booger McCTEfarland announce this game?  Then it was a fucking great fucking game.

I ate too much fiber this weekend. I had mini balls of tree bark ripping anus skin off my ass all day yesterday. Then I heard Booger Mcfuckshit talk and all I could think was....he’s the living, human version of fibrous anal terrorism balls that I shit all day that left more blood stain than shit stain on the toilet…

At this point, watching the Cowboys is like watching my 3 legged dog play with the 4 legged dogs.  It’s cute, but in a sad, pathetic way.  You hear things like, “You’re dog is really fast, for a three legged dog.”  Or, “Dan Federman is really good at basketball for someone who’s legally blind in one eye.”  (That’s for…

Pretty sure I sent that guy a meal a day back in the 1990's.

The Red Neck Ruckus...

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between capitalism and a jonesin’ crack whore.

Eww...Gross. Look at that pic. One of those guys is a cock sucker, and the other is Jonathan Martin.

Glad I’m not the only person who noticed this.  I thought it was some metrosexual outreach program or something. 

Loved the read. Shit like this keeps me coming back to deadspin.

Easy ways to tell the difference b/t a 15 and 30 year old. Boobs. Don’t need to be a doctor or psychiatrist.   Just need to understand boobs.  You see, boobs have helped me make spontaneous poor choices for 35 years now.  Boobs.  Boobies if you will.  Tatas for papas.  Nips for Lips.  Aereola suckatola.  Booby booby…

It says you’re a “reporter.” Does this line sound like a reporter or a blogger:

So all you pro netters are also clamoring to outlaw smartphones, right?

Aaron Rodgers is the B+ version of Jay Cutler, except Jay Culter’s fam actually likes him.

Being a Dolphins fan is like being married to a great looking spouse who used to be something special thirty years ago but has since had gall bladder problems, developed chrone’s syndrome, and acquired herpes and crabs from sleeping around with gang bangers past their prime. Yet she still keeps pics up around the…

Really, a hetero fighter called another hetero fighter a “fag” and it rose the level of homophobia?  More like emotional immature name calling seeking the most emasculating thing one alpha can imply to another....suck my dick.  That’s all.  I think promoting it all the way to the level of discriminatin and irrational…

I can confirm that TB12's nickname is Birdie. B/c whenever he’s in bukkake videos he swallows everything.

NFL needs to clarify rape rules. Something like 100 receptions =’s one rape. 110 =’s one rape, but she or he can be underage, but above age 12. 120 receptions =’s two rapes or depending on taste, can be one rape of a minor. Now, if you have over 20, twenty yards or more receptions, on bye weeks you can rape anyone and…

With all this raping, Antonio is obviously in the wrong business.  He needs to get into national politics.

All I know is that listening to Paul’s radio show is sometimes the closest any of us will ever get to actually hearing what people in 1854 sounded like.