Oh please, this place “Yas Kween’s” and genuflexs every time Beyonce farts. This move by Pelosi actually means something.

They do what they do out of love.

“I don’t hate anybody. I was raised in a Catholic house, we don’t hate anybody.”

The beauty of “conservatism” to movement conservatives is that it’s not an ideology with a concrete set of plans. It’s more of a brand and a lifestyle than anything else, sort of like Cross-Fit, except for people who like to misattribute George Carlin quotes instead of exercise.

We don’t have a television in our house. We do have streaming services that we watch on our computer, to be fair. When we are at my in-laws house and they have network television blaring in the background from sunrise ‘til I pass out from boredom/wine/a combination of both, it deeply reminds me why we don’t have a…

“i’m not ready to have children”
- vague
- ambiguous
- leaves the door open for further follow-up questions

School of Kanye 

I WANT NOTHING
I WANT NOTHING
I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO.

With that level of confidence, you could be president. 

We had yearbook quotes and Senior Wills in the school paper. I didn’t really have friends that were younger than me, so instead of leaving something to a student or teacher, I left “as soon as possible.”

Jesus Christ. You’re pleasant.

I wish I was back in high school now so that I could use “Zelensky loves your ass.”

I’m really torn here. I hate HOAs, but I also hate Christmas decorations, especially in November.

Fuck religion!!!

What’s your alternative? Not standing up until everything in front of you is empty?

I do the exact opposite; I stand up as soon as the plane takes off

I am highly confused by this term, “outside.” Where does one find this outside? I need to know so I can be sure to avoid it.

This immediately reminded me of one of my favorite Peanuts strips. Sally goes to beanbag camp and gets fat. Her mom makes her go outside when she gets home, and Sally stands on the porch shouting, “Let me in! I’m getting fresh air all over me!” I’m with you, Lisa, Sally.

Once I come home tonight, I am HOME for three days. I’ll have chili, cookies, and booze, so I’mma be set.