Your poor niece. I feel for mine, too - my sister’s the same way. All we can do is try to set good examples.

Anyone else go through a brief grief period after last week’s GBBO finale? So sad it’s over.

This was a great fucking episode. She actually interviewed a couple of people who are paid trolls from russia. It was insane.

Rifftrax had a “spookier” story last night at their Halloween encore:

I love it when he’s paired with Noel Fielding. They are hilarious together. Like the cute nerd and the New Wave art student in class.

i am just trying to get over this dumb kid’s name and the fact he is allowed a cell phone.

Your name is Iieeeeeaaaiiiieeeeyyyeaaa?

My friend went into a Target yesterday, and saw a bunch of onesies that said “Future President” in with the boy baby clothes. There were no such onesies on the girl baby clothes side. She took half of them off the rack and moved them to the girl side, which is why we are friends.

No one ever asks me where anything is anymore because of Mel Brooks. Also, I ended a blind date because the guy called Mel Brooks a hack and said that he did not care for the Golden Girls. That’s too much bullshit to take all in one shot like that.

I just keep wondering what kind of human being thinks it’s OK to make fun of Hillary for her husband cheating on her. Can those people please wear signs so I can make sure I never speak to one of them?

How can you even focus on that when the event’s signage involves both prissy faux-handwriting and a PINK HEART for godssakes. How many meetings did they have to go through before they nixed the fairy-princess mascot with the sparkly wand?

I had to stop watching Shark Tank because I got annoyed with the bored housewives and their kid-shit products. Every episode there was at least on woman who came up with an idea for some BS product to deal with some aspect of having kids that I would be like “Or you could just use a zip lock bag” or something .

He’s also a delight on the new Match Game.

Women don't actually need to breathe to live, so it's a lesser charge. They just do all that breathing for the attention.

YASSS. I love this Beyoncé. I finally connect with her as an artist. Lemonade did it for me. Fucking badass. She makes me feel like a natural woman.

abby fisher is a mega ultra garbage person but fat and ugly she’s not. she’s soft and has a fairly plain face but damn kid calm tf down.

Oh, child. You didn’t even crack the top 10% in high school. Your alumni’s network was never going to be your problem.

I think you should move on. It appears you've got some anger and I'm not interested in battling with you. Have a good day.

If she pleaded with him not to go through with it, she understood it was wrong.

When did I say she should be hung? When did those words leave my mouth? There’s a massive gulf between letting her get away with saying her “learning disabilities” made it so she couldn’t distinguish cause and effect, and hanging her like we’re in True Grit.