Yeah I saw that. They're already marching in his name anyway.

I even left some pee on there for ya!

"My Nation of Flops: America: Failure Or Fiasco?"

Lemme save you a click: A.A. Dowd gives America an F

Tired of all the seceding

I got nothing clever to say to this.

Does it feature Dawes eating Hormel brand bacon or something?

But it sure doesn't get hard! *laugh track*

Yeah that's usually true too

Oh sweet Lord, please let Robert Mueller poke his head into the room and announce they're all under arrest…

Or switch to crystal meth. That could get you some time.

Ah shit they got him.

'Call of Pootie: Infinite Tang'

*stares blankly, takes a bite of boiled dog*

I dunno but I've got Scottish blood in me so, while my hair is brown, my beard is bright orange. I look like I have Axl Rose's fuckin pubes stapled to my face.

I try not to, but every day I find myself doing the Nosferena.

'You Only Poot Twice'

My signature on the back of a beer coaster doesn't count, asshole!!!

*angrily burns Pootie Tang 2 shirt "2 Pootie 2 Tang"*

Where are these "youthful and affluent" people they were trying to attract??