How any parent could let R Kelly “mentor” their teenage daughter is beyond me.

Well I for one am shocked, simply SHOCKED, that a guy who videotaped himself committing statutory rape and urinating on a child only to inexplicably get away with it without any legal or professional consequences whatsoever would go on to continue behaving in an inappropriate fashion. Who could have possibly predicted…

Two things:
1) holy fuck!
2) I miss Gawker/Defamer

Every other damned thing in the world is being digitized, why not electronic gun holsters? The strap doesn’t unlock unless the body cam is running.

Why wait until 2020? Let’s just get this shit show over now.

The meteor already hit us. It’s orange.

holy shittttttttt that mugshot. He was my 12-year-old self’s celeb crush. How far he’s fallen.

If you are a skittish, nervous, risk-adverse person, do not become a police officer.

Oh what drugs and a neck tattoo will do to you. I might not have ever become rich or famous and I wasn’t as good looking as he was when younger. We are the same age and I am glad my life choices mean I will spend the next 2/3 of my life looking less fucked up than him.

Re: LuAnn and Tom.

I feels ya. I gained 10 lbs for like no apparent reason in the last 6 months. Didn’t look like Kendall Jenner to begin with either.

I’ll admit it, Kendall Jenner abs and under boob are enviable.

Crash Test < Moose Test < Florida Test

I hated being a teenager. HATED it. Hated the lack of real power, hated being patronized when I wrote something good (“I can’t believe a high school student wrote that!” never felt like a compliment), hated how people made up their mind about me and I was stuck with that perception, hated how sometimes I would be…

I met Troy. He was a very good boy with snazzy socks.

I’m hoping it’s Sir Carter Carter and then just Rumi with no last name.

Subaru has good commercials.

I would be WRECKED. I can’t imagine dealing with the grief and loss and doing the emotional work that would be necessary to be OK after losing one of my dogs just to have her stupid ass show up 9 months later all “O HAI AM DOG BEEN ON VACAY LOL YOLO!”

I want a man that would sleep on a porch for his dog. *adds that to list*

Enjoy it while it lasts.