You’re almost there.

I was so angry at you for making me tear up, then I was like “Damn my eyes were dry and this feels good.”

It’s appropriate that you said “harsh” but not “unfair”. Because I definitely think it was fair.

Prince Charles cheated on Diana with Camilla. No matter how gorgeous you are and how 'attracted' your mate is, if they want to cheat they will cheat. It's not always based on physical attraction.

woman does thing, is happy. society burns.

I hate my neighbors on both sides. On one side, they’re weird and paranoid and I’m pretty sure they’re in the Witness Protection Program, and they have 27 cars so they’re always parking in front of our house. On the other side they are overentitled hipsters with two screaming brats whom they lock in the backyard to…

I don’t believe british people should play country music superstars, does that make me a racist

I doubt she would have much a career today had it not been for Newlyweds, so I call bullshit on that.

Commendations on your restraint. I would have tackled her, I think.

Fuck. That. Bitch. I am entirely without religious or spiritual belief, but I have this rage that boils up in me when people desecrate remains. Maybe it’s the historian in me, but the dead can’t defend themselves and in many cases, their bodies are the only evidence of their lives and to harm that lifeless pile of…

That is horrifying. And I can’t believe it happens often. I hate tourists.

Me. Today. I was preoccupied, my mother-in-law is sick and my husband is up there with her, I’m scrambling for work, I had a fairly important business prospecting lunch that I was worried about, there was a suspected gas leak in the building, my dog decided that he wasn’t housetrained anymore so I ran him outside.…

Mentioning the 9/11 gift shop always makes me think of this.

Me and my sisters went to catholic school for a year when we were little because we were living in an area where my parents didn’t feel great about the public schools. (We’re not catholic.)

Well this is a story of my grandfather at a moment of great family sadness and pain.

I wrote a parody of Passion of the Christ (as a kind of performance art piece) that was so sacrilegious that my friends who performed in it had their kid taken away in a custody dispute when the Catholic judge was shown pics of it. Took years to straighten out. Worst thing I ever accidentally did.

NEVER REPLY TO ME EVER AGAIN YOU YOUTH

It looks like a peen. Is that really her tongue? If so, it needs to stay hidden, which should’ve happened quite some time ago. Gawd, she’s an idiot.

Presented without comment: Marc Maron’s tweet. Over the images of Stacey and Miley...