“Oh, and he voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016.”

I mean I know this is a hypothetical but if you’ve reached a point in your life where you’re actually sneaking in to see this chode with early stage periodontitis I think you’re already fucked.

As a political consultant myself, that was fucking funny and probably accurate. (I advise less obvious body language.)

When Pete Buttigieg adopts consultant approved listening posture, what does he hear? 

Also, fuck Pete Davidson.

Part of me has the perverse desire to see Davidson attempt to enforce this NDA only for both parties to double down on it all the way to the Supreme Court, mostly because seeing this buffoon trying to act respectable in a courtroom would be the only funny comic routine he’s ever performed.

That seems unenforceably broad, although actually enforcing it probably isn’t the point - it’s intimidation.

When did the completely-random-tattoos-all-over-your-body-thing become a thing? Seems to happen mostly to people in their 20's.

What if I sneak in? I mean, I didn’t sign anything. But I am sneaking in. It’s a moral gray area, but maybe one that won’t get me sued? So hard to know.

That seems unenforceably broad, although actually enforcing it probably isn’t the point - it’s intimidation.

Welllllll.........

Hu jiao bing. Taipei. Raohe market. First stall after the main gate. You owe it to yourself.

In true American fashion, we have the Hot Pocket. 

Or, failing that, would a dumpling itself, say a xiao long or char siu bao, count as a hand pie?

Meat baked in pastry is my FAVORITE food type. I love them all!! There is something about the comfort and convenience of these foods that make them magical. I can get great samosas near by and wonderful pasty in the U.P.

I wear shorts with tights all winter, so I am probably the wrong person to be commenting. But I’m also drunk at the office! So, here I go: You should wear pants (probably) instead of the shorts/tights combo I outlined, get a peacoat, get a fuzzy (read: warm) hat, get a soft scarf, and stick your hands in your pockets. …

Wear layers. Also, New York doesn’t really get cold so you should be fine.

TRUMP on Gordon Sondland, who he described as “a really good man and great American” last month and who gave $1 million to his inaugural: “I don’t know him well. He was with other candidates ... not me. Came in late.”

All you need to know here is that the conversation he’s quoting took place the day the whistleblower report was delivered to the House Intelligence Committee.

That press conference was incredibly unhinged. And I would know unhinged, because Trump has been on my TV way too much for approximately the past 400 years.