My personal (dis)favorites:

Newcastle Brown and Killian’s Red.

I’ve been preaching this exact same point about white privilege for years now.

BBB also is incredibly corrupt. It’s essentially a protection racket.

Fsho. Just look at how fake and plasticky that pizza looks. Fuck that.

The suburbs do a real number on your conceptions of “normal”. White peoples’ children may hate the suburbs their parents and grandparents built for them, but they grew up in practical dead silence.

Start a catering company with the motto “we never season a goddamned thing” and see if you ever get in business to begin with.

You moron, he admitted to her that he had abused other women.

It’s a free meal. If someone comes up to me *on my got-damned wedding day* to complain that *the food I just fucking bought them* is seasoned wrong, and that seasoning on chicken in general offends their senses... well, their continued presence is an offense to me. They can go and GTF on up out of there.

I got this from Drew Magary a few months ago and now I swear by it...

Absolutely ZERO of your articles were actually grounded in anything resembling an empirical method. I counted one pure anecdote, two baseless assertions, and two with something actually resembling food science - but again, no scientific method.

That’s no justification for ruining everyone else’s food. Elderly folks should suck it up or... starve. They’ve lived long enough.

That’s “Round Table Pizza” on the West Coast. Might as well be a fucking Chuck E Cheese. That’s not real pizza.

Dayum. Looks good. It’s probably pretty darn close to what restaurants do. I’d definitely prefer some sausage. I wonder how it’d work with ground beef, for a bolognese? Also, what about fixins like garlic etc?

Literally everywhere I’ve ever gone, they’ve described their pizzas in terms of either inches of diameter or S/M/L.

These “MMA fighter beats up would-be attacker” stories are starting to pick up a bit of a folklore aspect to them. It’s like every MMA fighter has to have one in order to be legit.

Aww fuck no.

Wow. They earned that one.

and to the ongoing Seattle Mariners buy-one-get-one factory liquidation event,

Christmas Nerds and Gobstoppers are the downright best candy and I will fight anyone who says anything else is better.