Absolutely ZERO of your articles were actually grounded in anything resembling an empirical method. I counted one pure anecdote, two baseless assertions, and two with something actually resembling food science - but again, no scientific method.

That’s no justification for ruining everyone else’s food. Elderly folks should suck it up or... starve. They’ve lived long enough.

That’s “Round Table Pizza” on the West Coast. Might as well be a fucking Chuck E Cheese. That’s not real pizza.

Dayum. Looks good. It’s probably pretty darn close to what restaurants do. I’d definitely prefer some sausage. I wonder how it’d work with ground beef, for a bolognese? Also, what about fixins like garlic etc?

Literally everywhere I’ve ever gone, they’ve described their pizzas in terms of either inches of diameter or S/M/L.

These “MMA fighter beats up would-be attacker” stories are starting to pick up a bit of a folklore aspect to them. It’s like every MMA fighter has to have one in order to be legit.

Aww fuck no.

Wow. They earned that one.

and to the ongoing Seattle Mariners buy-one-get-one factory liquidation event,

Whatever your gender, phones don’t belong in your back pocket. Period. It just makes you look like a moronic boob who doesn’t care about sitting on expensive electronics.

Christmas Nerds and Gobstoppers are the downright best candy and I will fight anyone who says anything else is better.

It’s gotta be Star Citizen.

Beebo was fucking hilarious. I died while I was watching it.

https://www.thestreet.com/story/14348399/1/macaroni-grill-files-for-bankruptcy.html

COTY

They filed for bankruptcy just last year. Nearly half their restaurants have been closed over that same five years.

Yeah I just looked up their website. They went through a series of national closures a handful of years ago. My home market (STL) was actually their test market, too, and they fully backed out around that time. Which is fucking sad, that the only remotely authentic national Italian chain suffers while fucking Olive…

Store Mirror Fight: Round 2 - The Breakening

Oh, come on. Darden is not known for their stunning business acumen. I hope Olive Garden miscalculates this and dies a slow, painful death, before getting acquired by Macaroni Grill.

All football intro songs suck, because they’re all country-pop-rock fusions, designed to be as unnoticeable as possible while still also appealing to the same mythical middle-aged, pickup-truck-driving, light-beer-swilling white male demographic that the NFL imagines to be its core fan base.