I don’t imagine he is ever not gassy. I am 99% sure if you poked him with a pin he would whither like an inflated condom.

Just confining that to capital letters is kind of generous. He has trouble with letters in general. Remember Covfefe?

Hope they don’t have any trouble getting a cake.

“Uh, why the fuck is Senator Bob “I’m on trial for corruption” Menendez running for reelection? Can someone please explain?”

Hmm a sci-fi franchise calling a special collection of songs Music of the Spheres, where have I heard that before... oh yeah Doctor Who did it nearly a decade ago.

Someone set this fuck on fire. Seriously it’s not funny anymore.

Am I supposed to be surprised overwatch fans would be addicted to boring inane nonsense?

Got to the Ruxpinbot photo and it genuinely scared me like a bad horror game jump scare. I shouted “GAH!” loud enough to wake my sleeping wife.

You are assuming these people aren’t just legitimately dumb.

And he’s laughing all the way to the bank at all the morons that actually watched it.

At this point I honestly would not be surprised if they actually canceled Christmas. I mean Obama supported it right?

I know we joke about it and all but... He seriously does have tiny little hands doesn’t he?

It’s only a matter of time before Rita Repulsa throws down her staff and exclaims “Make my monster grow!” creating a 10 story tall Coulter. God I hope she’s wearing slacks that day.

You forgot the big ones: “climate” and “change.”

Okay I know this is terrible and a very real issue but I can’t be the only one that thinks this when they hear Thomas Fire right?

I mean they must be running out of sexual abusers to hide by now right? ...right? Ok no there is a 99% chance every one of them has molested something.

Preferably not in the office. I imagine that corpse would leave an impossible to remove smell pretty much immediately. Somewhere less dignified. I’m thinking in the handicap stall in a McDonald’s bathroom halfway through a second Big Mac is more deserving.

Fox it doesnt matter how far into the PS1 era graphics uncanny valley you shove her skanky ass, she’s never going to look like a real person. That being said we also don’t want to see her in HD.

I am honestly surprised they haven’t come up with some one-upmanshiped version of “dear leader” yet. “Most dear megaleader with large hands” or some such.

I guess you haven’t kept up with the DCEU. Thats probably for the best.