plasticpants
plasticpants
plasticpants

Bro, I can see that you Pubmed (or at least whoever it is you got the copypasta from can Pubmed). Do understand that not all papers have the same level of scientific rigor.

have you ever had vicodin?

Someone brought it to a bbq I had a year ago. And proceeded to talk about how delicious it is.

who are the psychos voting for smirnoff ice SHOW YOURSELVES

Who the hell drinks smirnoff ice?

"Patriarchy is terrible the world around, folks."

We would have to ask Gwyneth Paltrow or Jenny McCarthy to elaborate on the alleged benefits of this barbaric new age crap I think they call "cupping". I think if you pair it with a colonic and a macro-gluten-free diet, it will get rid of ALL the toxins in your body (and maybe autism too?)

I have a feeling you're absolutely right. Honestly, I don't think I'd wanna live in the type of "bubble" where the mention of Tesla would make me think car instead of Nikola.

Whatever. Tell me more about that French onion soup. Is it chicken or beef stock based?

Hey, Jason Momoa, I got a coupla Sugar Mountains for you to climb, hey-o!

His Pilot Podcast Project is so funny, I get stomach cramps from laughing.

*host Scott Aukerman's

Bob Ducca is the face of the modern scourge of Puffknuckle and he's an outspoken awareness-raiser for Hot Tub Foot. Let's cut him some slack.

Separate the cat and the baby and keep them separate until the cat calms down and/or eventually learns to tolerate the kid. Maybe it's a pain in the ass, but that's something you should probably consider when you decide to have both pets and children. If you can't handle the responsibility of caring for something

Someone at Rolling Stone is confused about how to spell "dawg" and it's very off-putting in context.

She's incredibly talented, but belief in Scientology and awesomeness are mutually exclusive, IMO.

They've been in three movies together! Maybe she confused it with ancestry.com?

First of all, her name is not Khaleesi. It's Danaerys. Khaleesi is her title. How are people messing this up? Second of all, that scene where Drogo flat rapes her on their wedding night is the only part of the HBO series that makes me want to kick puppies. Because if you read the books, which you should, what happens

OH MY FREAKING JEEZUS CHRIST IN A CRACKER BARRELL, THAT BABY.

"Gainsbourg's character begins to cry while having sex with Shia LaBeouf's penis, and then screams, "I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING. I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING. I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING.""