Yeah, my entire takeaway from this is "Wow, this guy obviously thinks semen is delicious!"

"My penis was just concerned for her health!"

"...several decades older than you." Ew.

"I better hurry and tell all the ladies in the world what my penis thinks of them, so they can base their self-worth around it! You're welcome, ladies."

Kate

I used to want to be with you, but now you only eat Nothing Burgers. I'm only taking this opportunity to write to tell you that you should stop eating Nothing Burgers. What does your cat think of this??

I'd say it's far more likely that the woman was in such a rage lather that she didn't want to admit she was wrong. One thing I've learned in life is to never blame malice when stupidity is just as good of an explanation.

So at the end of the day, I knew that was a mistake I would never make again, but I take into consideration like, dang, I was like 17-18—I'm 25

Yes, I am not sizing up someone's attractiveness when they approach me on the street, I am sizing up their threat level. If I meet someone in a calmer, safer environment, then I might think about how attractive they are.

RIGHT? It's like a supervillian spawn with so little self-awareness we just have to drop our jaws in reaction!

"No one is forcing you to live in NYC."

"Well, he screamed something explicit at me on the sidewalk and I was so touched and turned on that I doubled back to talk to him and now we're a couple" said no woman ever in the history of human beings.

There's nothing more than a woman loves to hear than how pretty she is.

So "marriage" is the new term for kidnapping, imprisonment and sexual assault?

Really?

Well, I guess when you already have a racist mascot, rape jokes are one of the few avenues left to you to make things even more offensive.

What can you say? Boys will be boys! *barfs for eternity.*

Every time my wife brings home a Bath & Body Works receipt, I want to point out that it says "BBW" on it and be like, "What the fuck kind of stores are you shopping at?"

I wish I lived in the area, because I would totally be patronizing that business right now! Peanut soup and collards....NOM NOM NOM NOM

But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services.

"In the US, the decline is blamed largely on millennials seeking out fast casual options like Chipotle..."