The Mini Moke (yes, really) and Austin Champ were both conceived as offroad vehicles for the British Army, which was in a pretty rough shape post WW2, so I could say either of those, but really, the Austin K2, because sometimes you just want to cross a desert for a nice ice cold beer.

The Google Earth car. Stay home and look at the landscapes on your computer, stay off the road. We’re done with tourists here. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SS_Richard_Montgomery

That is a good way to wear your ankles as earrings if you are in an accident. Do you want to see what the soles of your feet look like up close, if the answer is no then don’t put your feet on the dash. Plus it is just clatty. 

Ouch. Family sucks. 

Keeps trying to give me directions, when I already know where I’m going, then asks why I didn’t follow their directions. Worse, tells me to take turns when it is too late to indicate and decelerate safely. It just stresses me out.

It is a tie between the overnight train, i.e. the cheap train [for at the time British Rail had not yet been privatised and could run cheap trains], from Glasgow to London back in the eighties. Full of unemployed young people heading down south to seek a job somewhere that still had industry. And had an all night bar…

Drive it in your own town and keep it off our roads, and I’ll be good with it. Bloody tourists. 

I know I am going to hate someone if they show up in a campervan, any campervan. Especially those Hymer bastards though. Fucking tourists clogging up the roads and being stupid arseholes, ugh I hate them so much. 

Tesla: It’s pronounced “British Leyland”, actually.

Might as well as how long a bit of string is. How long you wanting it for, how much do you use it, what sort of compromise do you want to make?

Similar, the Nissan Prairie. It was a cheap shitbox that you could treat like a cheap shitbox and it still did everything you needed. It’s an underrated skill.

The Triumph Stag was good, actually.

Aye, voice control if you are Scottish is a shitshow.

Narrow UK roads where the line up the middle is probably where even a small car needs to put its wheels to keep out of the verge, or you need to cross the line to avoid a massive fuck off pothole because the council cunts couldn’t be arsed fixing the road, so the lane assistance is constantly fighting with you while…

Automatic headlights. My problem with them is people keep forgetting whether they are on or off, so people are driving around after dark and thinking their headlights are on but really they aren’t. Or the rain or fogis bad enough that you need headlights, but the light level is just high enough not to trigger them so…

While you are technically correct (Futurama Gag Here), I think you might be missing the point of the complaints. The term Hydrogen Bomb is a very loaded one for older folks, generally referring to the larger world ending ICBM weapons to be used in all out nuclear war. Using it in this headline deliberately invokes…

This is the true correct answer. 

Oh, god, yeah. Half the time the biggest red flag is not the car’s condition. It is the seller is an arsehole. No car is enough of a unicorn to make dealing with some people worthwhile. 

When the pictures of the car are all from a distance, and there is no picture of the interior except through a window, and they want to meet you at a municipal carpark to do the sale, cash only, which has no CCTV. And the email address is a hotmail one.