While not salad dressing, I was helping my father clean out my Grandma’s house after she moved to live with my aunt in 2012. I found a package of Lipton soup mix that expired in 1989. She moved into that house in 1991. So she kept expired soup mix two years after it expired even though she must have cleaned out her…

Our tree makes tons of them. We can’t keep up. I make kumquat pie and kumquat habanero jelly. My husband makes his “famous” avocado toast. My late daddy gave me that tree and our four beloved previous dogs are all wrapped in heirloom tablecloths and buried beside it. I like to think that’s why it makes so many…

My first job out of college was working in pilot testing laboratory.

What I’m hearing is: Make these, the airfried egg/potato pancake/bacon thing, and proceed to live the best life ever.

If you’re going to fucking bring your fucking kid to a fucking bar, the little fuckers are going to fucking learn some new fucking words (or at least one in fucking particular).

Every time we diss Maze-spin someone will invariably come up and say “ well, can YOU drive as well as he does?”

Congrats on being the only person ever to have a broken A/C system that just needed a refill

Did you know you should never reuse cotter pins? Especially when it secures the castle nut that holds the brake drum, wheel, and tire on a Beetle rear axle?

Believing my brother when he said he knew how to drain a radiator. Turned out he jabbed a screwdriver into the bottom of it to drain it, then wandered back into the house looking to be murdered for some glue(!) to pour into the hole.

Phil. He’s the worst. 

Albumin—not to be confused with albumen, the protein in egg whites

I want to say that this is a great column idea, but then you didn’t waffle the salmon.

why is “consternation about nail clippers” taking me OUT on this tuesday morning??

The professional garlic press haters do not seem to realize that for many (most?) people, cooking is less an art/hobby than it is unpaid labor they have to perform on a daily basis. You know what the best, fastest, easiest way to convert a whole clove of garlic into mush is? It’s a garlic press.

The thing about unitaskers is that so many of them are straight up worse than doing it the old-fashioned way. But I don’t think that’s an inherent problem with unitaskers, I think that’s a problem of manufacturers trying to solve problems nobody had, just like is usually the case with “As seen on TV” style products in…

This is the only correct comment.

Ha ha hah! My favorite parts of the video were Joel saying the video has to be “youtube monetizable” (or something like that) and Claire saying “fuckit” 🤣

Not unless both ingredients are bagels.

Several years ago I worked a job where I often needed a drink after, but which was conveniently located in the same complex as a Trader Joe’s. Which is where I learned that their limeade makes a great mixer. Mix it with tequila and it’s a quick and dirty margarita, with gin for a Quickie Rickey, with vodka for a…

This is my story. I did not Get It and now I do! I see why people get obsessed!