Yeah, let’s be honest, she’s at minimum Third Daughter.

this freeze frame is freaking me out. look her dead in the eyes for 10 seconds and tell me you aren’t shook.

We had geese too. Fuck those mean sons of bitches! I feel your mothers pain.

My mom feels your pain- she had to feed the chickens when she was a kid and she said they were so mean! And don’t even get started on the geese. They would chase her away from her rural NJ bus stop when she was a girl.

Not the first time someone’s cock got them in trouble.

I’m thinking more stretched taffy Martin Short.

He looks more like the pie after Jason Biggs fucked it.

“Look over there and tell me about the rabbits....”

We had a talking parrot when I was a kid and they are so incredibly smart. He would yell “shut the door” whenever anyone left the house and learned to count in English and Spanish from watching Sesame Street with me. His language skills were incredible and he actually adapted and learned. My mom hated him and always…

Maybe this?

I showed this story to my wife.

That’s what they wanted, darling. You’re in good company.

My god, is that really the statue? You can’t tell me whoever did the commission on this wasn’t secretly trying to stick it to the Klan. It looks worse than my kid’s play-doh lumps.

So, Amber was Heard.

It’ll cost you an arm and a leg. And another arm and leg. And a tail and face. You get the idea.

SO MUCH good stuff. How much do you think it would cost to ship this insane bobcat? I must have her.

Well, if there’s one thing cats are know for it’s their thunderous footsteps.

You keyed it, right?

“Can’t beef with peeps who have mental problems,” Spencer tweeted on Monday

True story, I dated a guy who lived down the street from the ice cream truck depot in the West Village. Around 5pm, every summer evening, they all roll out as an adorably coordinated sugar-fueled cheer army. The jingles were always delightful because even though they were loud, they just sound like happiness.