Wrestlemania this weekend!

What about bears? We’re supposed to get bears on Friday.

The prodigal juggalette returns.

I thought the Royals effectively settled this when they utterly pantsed the Mets in the World Series.

Another analytics genius who reads numbers instead of watching teams play. Extra pocket protectors required.

If they don’t win a title this year it’s likely due to something like the San Antonio Spurs who are also an incredible team, not a mystical force punishing hubris.

I heard you like Lambos...

Oh man this makes me like Mr. X to the Z Xzibit all over again.

because CBS and the NCAA have vested financial interests in forcing you to sit on your ass through two hours of commercials to see the completed bracket.

I enjoy the NCAA taking a harder stance on a leaked bracket than they ever did when a major program committed widespread academic fraud and basically made up a major.

10. What happens if I forget my phone or my battery dies?

This is the sort of Fox News I can get behind.

Same thing happen to me. Except it wasn’t on a golf course and it was a stripper who was a fox.

I guess that CarFax gig isn’t as comfortable as I thought.

SWIPER, NO SWIPING! SWIPER, NO SWIPING! SWIPER, NO SWIPING!

Or stick with whatever towels you want and don’t invite cunty towel-judging guests to your house..

Yeah, only Lightning Returns.

“For I beheld World_Combo as he FELL FROM HEAVEN LIKE LIGHTNING!”

People can have whatever opinion of the Kardashians as they want - I really don’t care either way about them - but that is one incredibly savvy family.
Kim K really needs to teach Liz Lemon how to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money.