I miss being a hit at parties.

Of course I spent nearly an hour searching a cheesy tourist shop the other day for these pens. They used to be everywhere! Such an inspirational writing device.

Yes. Having lived in countries where this is the status quo, as well as now living in a country where tipping is mandatory, this is a million times better than no wage vs no tipping.

Progress!

One of my close friends is a botox rep. We have seen her go from being a very pretty woman into a shiny plastic mask in a few years. I think she probably gets fillers too.

I have a cast iron stomach and only throw up when I give myself alcohol poisoning. But the smell of seafood congee first thing in the morning, on a plane with no escape and with hundreds of people farting, would make a NYC sewer rat vomit.

List of things sensible humans find disgusting:

FSM is grateful for your thanks and would like to say thanks to you, for your ongoing dedication to the righteous path of Pastafarianism.

The Victoria’s Secret show is hilarious. It is the holy grail for models, but as a brand it is laughed at in the fashion world because it’s as tacky as fuck (read- affordable) and no one would ever admit to wearing their stuff. The shows are soooo different to anything else in fashion and yet everyone in the industry…

Oh dear Kate. British stiff upper lip is one thing, but can she really have shoved herself so far up the arse of celebrity that she is blind to the problem? She seems fairly intelligent but I guess it is hard to see the truth from your cloud in heaven.

If you are the kind of person that would spike someone that wasn’t drinking that night then its a good job you think it’s unacceptable. If you are buying your best mate a gin and tonic its doing them a favour to get them a double.

If it is one of your close friends it is absolutely decent. In fact only be friends with people you know will be happy if you spike them and you are safe in the knowledge they will spike back. I guess we go to different parties.

What in hell are they studying if this is an acceptable presentation topic?

This dress is like a sprinkling of summer rain on a lily pond at first light in the morning.

Holiday campaign: “Hobby Lobby, keeping your Christmas whiter than white since 1995”

Also, what on earth is that blue stars ‘n’ stripes in the background? Extra special police patriotism?

Opinions from the past, signs from the future!

I am going to take off points for lack of glitter, but she gets extra for good kerning and simple colour palette

Allegedly!!! He might be the next jesus for all we know.

*malicious, stupid, hypocritical, racist, worthless, deluded shitbag