Shouldn’t you be out campaigning for Jill Stein, Mr. Leftier-than-thou?

Jesus. We get it. You think Ledecky and any athlete who does anything remotely extraordinary is doping. Enjoy the games, and then the NFL season, and then the NBA season, and then maybe just stop watching sports.

I knew I recognized that guy from somewhere. A tragically underrated film in my opinion. Gyllenhall’s performance was absolutely superb (and creepy as fuck).

The Sporting News just published a pretty righteous take-down of this “forgettable SportsCenter anchor,” too. The whole thing is worth a read, IMHO, but this is the best part:

Pete Rose can eat shit.

Jesus Christ, that is dumb. Seriously fucking dumb.

Can you absolutely obliterate a record like this without doping?

Yes. She was. Her last 50m was faster than RYAN LOCHTE’S in that race.

So, 3 or 6 months before this gets wiped?

does it cost more or less than he spends on coconut oil?

Just wish Michael had turned on his brother mid-interview, made mention of his conspicuous lack of rings, and say that’s why Mom named you Martellus and not Marshowus

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

The good news is that unlike the ATMs, tea, snack bars, etc. the condom dispenser will never be empty.

He looks like the guy you stole those jokes from

Thanks, Zach.

Tre Mason: Man, fuck you guys. Not only am I not holding out, I was actually the first person to show up in St. Louis for training camp this year.

[phone falls apart]

Kitchen sink: [falls off, shatters]

I’d say this is a shit show, but the aquatic events haven’t started yet.

It’s in the media village, so they clearly did their research and discovered zero is the number of condoms most reporters will need.