+1

“Melnyk had been conspicuously absent during the team’s run to the Stanley Cup playoffs.”

+1

The 2,632 consecutive tweets also served as a nice tribute to Cal Ripken Jr.

+1

Ha!

You’re a monster. A really, really funny monster.

+1

Oh, you. +1

Ha!

...he abruptly left the team to take care of his son.

It’s the only time all season the Cubs will be anywhere near number 1.

Now I’ll never be able to bounce my grandson on my knee, tell him about Kentucky’s magical season and try to explain to him what the word “vacated” means.

Oh great, now the coaches will start abusing women too.

Ha!

They keep saying he'll go number 1, but if you ask me, he looks a lot closer to type 2.

On the other hand, Trent Richardson shitting his pants every week didn't help his career one bit.

+1

I guess I'm not surprised that an infection caused by fecal matter is spreading among pitchers and catchers.

Ha!