Prosecuter: “your honor, i’d like to show the court the events of that night.” *presses play

I always thought he was called “Doctor” Quinn because that was just a nickname. You know, like Dr. Dre.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU GUYS?

“If you find yourself in the grips of overwhelming wayward urges, you have several options: suck it up and pretend it doesn’t exist; end the relationship; act on it without telling your partner beforehand (or maybe ever); or discussing it with your partner in the hopes of finding a mutually bearable resolution.”

as someone who lives down the street from a taco bell (Aurora Ave in Seattle, so a taco bell with prostitutes on the corner) i make my drunk/high shamble there maybe twice a month and yes those grillers are pretty good for the price

You’re wrong. Pitch the lunch & go to Chipotle and don’t say a word. Successful relationships are built on white lies and extra queso.

I know your heart is in the right place, but I think this is the worst thing you can do. She is going to put that in the back of her mind and then at the worst possible time she’s going to lose it with some sort of rant: “I’m the one being passive-aggressive! Well at least I have the balls to tell someone my opinion…

You eat the lunch your wife packed at like 10 a.m. then still go get your burrito. Or eat the burrito and throw the lunch away and never mention it. But you don’t, under any circumstances, risk fucking that situation up, you moron.

I love this series. I’ve enjoyed every entry. Just wanted to say thanks.

Everyone clicked on this because they thought they were gonna see a nip slip

I’m trying to find the part where they answered the question.

can we atleast get a link to the video she posted in the comments or something? Why would you mention it and not post it?

wraps are an abysmal excuse for a sandwich. I could be on day 712 of the sandwich only world and I would still turn down a wrap. Wraps are for shitty office lunch meetings in a conference room. Any sandwich only world that I’m stuck in would not include wraps

Or, or, OR...now follow me here...it’s just a doofy action movie? And the deconstruction adornments to its credibility are also doofy?

No-one is saying you have to undertake a careful 15-point inspection of every dookie. But a quick check that El Poopo looks regular, that’s practically written into our DNA. Big Toilet needs to think about this.

Don Henley wrote Boys Of Fucking Summer, man.

That’s a greater contribution to society than anything any other Eagle or Beatle has ever done.

LIKE A ROCK!

Hang a flap of toilet paper over the auto flush thing. It keeps premature flushes (I WAS JUST LEANING FOWARD A BIT!) from going down, plus it covers up what is totally a camera hooked up to the Internet.

A Van Dyke beard is actually what people commonly think of as a goatee. a Goatee is technically just the chin part. So Hitler rocking one of those wouldn’t phase the style out.

Maybe this one is just a "me" thing, but my favorite position for performing cunnilingus is with the woman on top. I happen to enjoy the complete immersion, and the weight of her body on top of me. I self-identify as a D-type, and my partner self-identifies as an S-type, but to me this position is not about D or S;…