Someone died because of the lane closure. Ambulances were stuck in demon traffic.

Old Soviet Joke:

Yo momma so nasty, she keeps a separate email server for her side pieces

Sexy writing of any kind is much more difficult than most people think. The chances of veering off into boring, inadvertently hilarious or horrifyingly gross are very very high.

“You like soup? I bet you like soup.”

I love the facts that you did not include in your comment too...?

The most serious issue of this election is not Donald Trump. It’s people who support Donald Trump.

If one more person asks why these women are just coming out now, I am going to take a huge period shit in their mouth.

I wished for an October Surprise. This is like a month of Halloween. Like, after a few days, it’s not fun, anymore. You ate all your good candy, you have a stomach ache, you have to figure out what to do with the shitty candy, and your parents won’t let you take off your costume or wash off the day’s old makeup.

I am 32. I consider myself a strong ass woman. Not a victim. NEVER a victim. But what is shocking, and humbling about this entire election is the fact that other women are speaking out about things that I have just accepted in my life as part of being a woman, and that I’ve forgotten about until now. I truly forgot…

This evidence seems pretty damning:

I get that this kid was preyed upon… But his “all older gay men are frightening pedophiles you need to stay away from” is really horrible.

The day that I can read the news without having to come across the name Donald Trump will be one of the happiest days of my life.

Am I the only one really confused by this vehement denial that he had “the sniffles”?! I mean, sorry dude, the whole world watched you twitch and sniffle--bad mic (?) or not, it wasn’t manufacturing the sound AND FACIAL MOVEMENT of man sniffling.

He’s Canadian, so his word wasn’t worth much anyway.

First, last year, I promised to support the Republican nominee. And I intend to keep my word

The constitution doesn’t apply to brown people. I don’t know how often real Americans need to explain this simple truth until libruls get it.

If you had to choose between living under President Trump or having your crotch eviscerated by a pack of rabid animals, which species of animal would you pick?