Sailor Moon.

Can we please vote “FUCKING DUH.” here? PLEASE? PEOPLE.

She was manipulating what he was fucking SAYING.

JESUS H. CHRIST. WHAT THE FUCK.

Uh... Hey asshole Coach, some of us have hair that seriously does not straighten. My Mom does. Unless she gets keratin treatments, which changes the texture of the hair for months (AKA: Changing/Destroying the natural type of hair...) it will not straighten. I don’t care if the Mom is like “Hey, this isn’t okay.” You…

This all makes me glad he’s not allowed to play with people’s brains anymore, or their guts. (Because they do both. At least mine does.)

Also suddenly wondering what my Neurosurgeon believes and I am totally terrified, although, I’d like to think that mine is possibly a feminist and democrat because he has a hyphenated…

Can this city please go die in a fucking fire? Thanks.

Your story should win, as it has taught us all the dangers of testicles in buttholes. It may have also taught us all that we should put testicles in our buttholes and laugh, because that shit sounds fun.

Thanks, I kind of needed to hear that.

I’m trying not to freak out, but I just turned 31 and I’ve started getting these like...cystic pimples all of the sudden. I don’t know if it’s because I’m on pamidronate infusions for my osteoporosis, or what, but they freaking hurt. I also recently started using a OTC retinol product so I’m not sure if it’s just…

Being Texas, he’s lucky he didn’t get an ass whipping on top of getting arrested for his treatment of a woman, and being so fucking dumb.

I used to have pictures of my Aunt having grabbed on to a cross at a cemetery, hanging off of it like a monkey. Because she felt like it, and we’re all crazy, and yes, we were visiting my Granny’s grave and were bored.

Mind you my family is Christian.

We are so all going to hell.

Pretty sure she’s fucked people at…

I know that feel. I’m from the south and most “family friends.” are people who you have strong kinship ties with. It’d be like fucking a relative. I know it’s not like that everywhere... But it’s like DAAAAMN.

Just adding this since I can’t figure out how to edit due to headache... I know that the asshole husband is called a widower. I don’t care. That’s not a widow. That’s a leech.

I also asked Mom if that was the most fucked up funeral we were ever at, and she said “Yeah, and then when people lifted up her dress and looked…

Most Bizarre experience was probably my Mom’s foster sister (I’m from the south, so she’s my Aunt as far as we’re concerned.) niece having died in a motorcycle accident. Let me explain. Everyone in her family is INSANE.... Including her. I love her, but she needs meds, okay? She does much better on them.

Her niece who…

Very true. Logically, I know all of that, but my gut reaction is just “Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. FUCK THIS GUY.” and it kind of overrides everything else.

Michael can’t talk anymore, but this piece of shit gets to? It just makes my blood boil, and breaks my fucking heart. I know we need to understand cops that do…

Fuck this guy. Why are we even talking about him, saying his name, and drawing attention to HIM? His name shouldn’t be in the media. Michael Brown is the one we should talk about. He’s the one who lost his life.

Not this scumbag. We know he’s a racist fucking murderer. He’s a piece of shit. He’s probably waving around…

Uh... First.... I usually try calmly explaining to someone how the flu shot works, how they make a new batch every year, ahead of time, etc. etc. Because I know all of the science behind it.

People tend to believe conspiracies, that like above, it’s an old batch.

Or that it didn’t work on them, they still got the flu,…

If your bladder is full, go pee. #bladderhack #bodyhack #lifehack

Do you want to know what I say to people like this? “Oh, so you want to possibly fucking kill someone?”

And “They go what are you talking about?”
Then I inform them “My mother is one of the people who cannot get the flu vaccine, and I’m someone who is severely immunocompromised. If she gets the flu, it can put her in…

Call your local health department and see if they’ll give them to you. It might be cheaper that way.

Naw, dude, this should have happened in Orange, Texas. Like, you constantly see the tweakers walking down the street. Unfortunately we don’t have an In-n-Out burger here.. :(