Totally whiffed the title the first time. I’M OLD, OKAY

Hang on.

I’d bet you a crisp five dollar bill that many of the pukes slinging racial slurs during the stream also love sticking their paid-for-by-mom-and-dad cellphones in our faces and calling us racist pigs while they debate case law using their impressive 11th grade educational background. Twitch should just perma-ban.

What is it with Mustang drivers?

These video game adaptation flicks are out of control. And who’s doing the casting? I see like six old guys in $1,200.00 suits silently swirling snifters of brandy in an office with entirely too much teakwood furniture until one of them straightens up and yells “Got it!”

Love AC and Fassbender, but in this still, all I see is “Just act natural. That cop has no idea I'm walking away from a stolen Honda with a teener of meth in my backpack.”

I’ve always thought there should be one cell in the booking area that’s hermetically sealed and reserved for the real whiz kids. Not like “Oh, you missed your court date,” or “Well then, don’t break into people’s cars,” I’m talking the Deluxe Supreme Windowlickers.

Just spotted this sexy bitch in the wild about two hours ago. The drive-up window situation was a bit slapdash, but I don’t think it’d be a dealbreaker for me.

Thanks, Mike! I took the liberty of presenting myself with this a few minutes ago. My speech was quite touching. Sorry you missed it. Wife was trying to watch TV and told me to turn the stereo down, but I know she was fighting back the tears. Nobody can resist Whitesnake during an awards ceremony.

Thank you for reading and for visiting us down here in the basement. :)

We’re required to act (or not act) within the scope of our training. Firefighters don’t respond to bank robberies and attempt to arrest suspects, paramedics don’t write parking tickets, and the average patrol officer is not trained in water rescues. Even without the gunbelt on, body armor becomes a torso-shaped boat…

Rocket League Xbox One. Constantly. Bout to make veteran. Then my wife will STFU about how she hit veteran two weeks ago. Redheads, man. The ceaseless GLOATING.

#avengekenny

Looney Tombs?

Longtime cop near Bellevue and rabid reader of Jalopnik here. You guys and your readers kick complete ass.

Retro Gamer.

Xbox One Rocket League. All the Rocket League. And the better I get, the drunker I play. Wait, what?

Rebel Galaxy in between rage quitting SW Battlefront Fighter Squadron matches on Xbox One. If I get too pissed off with both of those, I’ll finish Rise of the Tomb Raider. I think I’m almost done.