I'd be crying too if I had to wear that red band just to hold up my giant, misshapen ears.

The formality of the communication channel you use to dump someone should be in proportion to the intimacy level the relationship attained. If the relationship was some months long, it must be in person. If it was a matter of weeks, a phone call is good. A matter of days? That makes a txt or email a valid method.

My DeLorean is currently in the shop. As a grown gentleman I will do all manner of yard-work (including ill-conceived chainsaw sculptures) and make pancakes into the shape of the marsupial of your choice for anyone who wants to help me with the repair bill.

I WANT.