I'll tell mine then: Never date someone who's father only works a few blocks from their home, skip class to hang out and "dry hump" among other things, at lunch time. When the father is prone to coming home for lunch.

It was so romantical, I swear! The delivery was perfect —- it was soft and sweet, and almost like a surprise to him, that we were made for kissing each other (bc seriously, I've never been kissed like that, before or since).

I'm not sure about the former, but I believe lemon meringue pie is the appropriate desert to commemorate the latter.

Eek! There's one more line — the BEST of all. The day after it happened, I wrote a poem about it, because I was 18, and that's what 18 year olds do. I couldn't do this justice on my phone, so I'll copy-paste the poem here now that I'm home. What you are about to read all really happened:

Have you ever dry humped someone?

I remember some more lines from him — and I don't care if they were lines he used all the time... It was scandalous that we liked each other, bc we only met bc my roommate like him, so our first make-out experience was in the dorm bathroom at 1 am. We tried to control ourselves, but he whispered into my neck, "I can't…

Wait, if you dry hump people you can get free cake?! I know how I'm spending my weekend!

This is really great. I'm glad she's able to influence her mother. My mother was born in the U.S. but was raised in Mexico and was pulled out of school before she could complete the sixth grade. She also wants to go back to school and I really hoped that seeing my sister and I in college would motivate her more. I…

Shit. I like to do the driving AND I don't go to church.

So are you saying...God didn't make me?

*flames appear*

God yes. As a military wife who is currently living on-base in a foreign country… It's absolutely ridiculous. It's IMPOSSIBLE to find a job, IMPOSSIBLE. (Unless of course you want to be a nurse or a teacher, then maybe, because that's all silly women spouses are good for). There's this stereotype about military wives…

I was owed a lot of money and decided not having instability in my girl's lives was a lot more important. I offered him to surrender parental rights when they were young, and he signed. He may have gotten away scott free, but I got the best part of him, and they turned out great. And I turned out capable of providing…

I'm also a military spouse. My husband and I dated for three years before we got married, he was 32 and I was 27. So not particularly young, but then again he's not enlisted, and, not to stereotype, but there seem to be a lot less drama with officers. We probably would have been plenty happy to keep just dating, but…

They're easy to find. Most military bases have several seedy car dealerships and predatory payday loan joints clustered like warts just outside the gate. I was lucky to have 10 grand in the bank and owned my car outright when I joined up. But to many kids, that shiny used Mustang is pretty attractive, and no one…

It all seems part & parcel of being very young with little real world experience and suddenly making BIG decisions (marriage, family, not to mention the potential to be involved in armed conflicts). There should be a special place in hell for the people who market fat car loans and credit cards to kids, whether…

Really? Well, you didn't deserve to be on your own and he damn sure didn't deserve to get away scott free from child support. I've always heard that the military is very sure to make people pay child support. Have you ever thought about talking to a lawyer about this? This dirtbag probably owes you a metric fuckton…

My roommate approached me and my boyfriend about letting his newly discharged Army Ranger "very nice and soft spoken" best friend move into our house to lower rent. I asked him what his job was. It was jumping out of planes in the middle of the night and killing people. Yeah, I declined instantly. My boyfriend thought…

I too was married crazy young to a Marine, four years later, 1 child and 1 on the way, divorced. Let me tell you, his superiors did not make him follow through on child support. I made sure to have allotments set up for child support before I left, and he had them changed within a month, as he outranked the young man…

Life experiences are a must to be a somewhat well rounded adult. It might not be sleeping around or clubbing, it can be traveling and seeing the world. Just live life first before you settle down right after high school. You don't want to be one of those people who wish they would have done something before getting…

I don't. But, yes, she had some truly lovely people that she dated. There was the married tow truck driver, the computer nerd who would just stick his penis though the opening in his underwear to have sex and didn't have sheets on his bed, the game store owner who make a Highlander joke as he climaxed during a BJ, the…

Sad story, truly. With that said, this is exactly why I advocate waiting to get married. Get out there, make mistakes, sleep with everyone you want to, find yourself, get it out of your system. 19 is just way too young to be married and pregnant.