Counter-proposal: take sugar packets from work and local coffee shops, and throw them at cat-callers. They are literally asking for it.

UGH why do men STILL USE THAT? In Disney a guy did something like, "Your shoes are on the ground!" Stupid lines that just end up awkward for everyone, because it's NOT EVEN CLEAR THEY'RE HITTING ON YOU. That's how weak it is. You can't even feign a smile bec you're just confused—so why use it.

The correct answer is "Dublin," as in "him doublin' over in pain when you punch him in the crotch."

That doesn't even make sense: conventional visiting time is between Christmas and New Years. If you're going to use a shitty line, it might as well make sense.

"I didn't drop it, I threw it at the last guy who said that like a FUCKING NINJA STAR"

Here is an example of my extreme naivety. I was leaving the courthouse while on jury duty a couple of years ago, carrying some leftover chicken from lunch. As I was about halfway to the parking garage, an overweight guy in a wheel chair sitting under a tree yelled, "Damn, girl, gimme some of that chicken!"…

That reminds me of the TSA agent in Ohio who stopped me in the line and wouldn't let me through until he could see my smile. I felt like I couldn't talk back because he could have made me miss my flight. I gave him the fakest, most insincere smile ever, but he was too dumb to understand and just said 'there it is! Go…

Him: Do you have a little Irish in you?

I was working for a shop that sold unique, one of a kind jewelry. On this occasion a man walked in with a woman and explained they'd just gotten engaged and wanted engagement rings.

I think those kind of things stick with you because to have someone so blatantly disregard your own situation in favor of something intensely selfish breaks all the rules we have. Like the kind of person who, seeing someone dealing with a crisis, will stop them to ask for directions to the bathroom. Like seeing…

When I was 15, I had a friend's uncle (who was covered in nazi/white power tattoos) loudly proclaim his appreciation for my "fuck me legs" during breakfast after a sleepover for my friend's birthday. I overheard him later asking my friend if I was single and how he wanted her to tell me that he "didn't really believe…

"Damn!!! You got a real nice ass for a white girl! I thought you was wearing a diaper or something!"

Many, many years ago I was standing in line to to have some photos printed. There happened to be a guy standing in line behind me, though he didn't attract my attention at the time. My turn came, and I approached the counter to transact my business, and shortly thereafter he was called to the next wicket. I gave my…

I was hanging out at pool party at a hotel in Los Angeles and happened to be by myself, as I was the first of my friends to arrive. (I wasn't alone at a pool - this was a big public pool party, just the first of my group to be there). A guy sidles up to me and starts chatting to me. It's friendly, I mention I'm…

I was walking down the street in Manhattan and some old dude is oogling me, walking toward me. I'm trying to ignore him, and as I walk past him he says, "You dropped something" which stops me in my tracks, of course—I'm looking behind me, patting my purse, etc, and finally look at him questioningly. He's staring at…

At a really douchey preppy bar on the Upper East Side:

Guy: "Hey girl, you're very beautiful."
Me: "Thank you"
Guy: "You have any kids??"
Me: "No"
Guy: "You take care" — then proceeded to walk away.

Guy whom we did not know came up to me and my two girlfriends at a bar and had four shots in his hand. "These are called magic erasers," he said to us with a wink, placing the shots gently on the table. "They make you forget everything."

There used to be this homeless guy who would sit on the corner of the street near my office, and I would pass him every day on my way to Starbucks. I would never give him any money, but I would always greet him and talk to him for a little bit. I briefly took up smoking again due to very high stress and when I quit, I…

Back in the summer of 2006, I was between my junior & senior years of college. I was going through the ringer of personal troubles that most newly 21-year-olds do, and was driving the requisite shitbox at the time (a 1990 Acura Integra hatchback that you could hear coming a mile away due to the muffler falling off…