One time, the Merch people for Andrew wk fucked up my order. I got a personal, handwritten apology from the man and a care package with lots of import CDs.

I have a hope chest. It's made of cedar. I got it when I was 16 or 17. I still have (48 now). It still smells wonderful. I keep my sweaters in it. I always just used it for storing stuff I didn't want anyone else to see, i.e., prying eyes, because it had a key.

Basically, either way you get blamed and shamed. Not a virgin? Blamed. A virgin? Shamed.

I lost my virginity to my first love at age 19 - and he absolutely broke my heart. Lying, and cheating, etc. In one of my many crying phonecalls to my mother I was like, "I lost my virginity to him! This is the end of the world! I wasted it on him!" and she was just like, "so what, have sex with someone else later."

Clearly, this is the proper costume for Winnebago jello wrestling

Well, keep in mind that it's from a period where women wore petticoats still.

If people ask you weird question about sex, why not have some fun with it and make shit up? Like, "the weirdest place I've ever had sex was in the back of a Winnebago in a bathtub full of jello while dressed like Chewbacca."

I'm gonna get SO MUCH use out of this.

My hero's help is needed.

Do you think the pet psychologist will have a tiny little cat-sized couch for him to lay on?

In the 1950s, when kissing was still considered taboo and lascivious, the newlyweds would commemorate their nuptial bliss by pressing their heads firmly together. Then, to avoid eye contact, the groom would stare deeply into his bride's forehead. She would simultaneously gaze fondly into his nostrils and also begin…

News flash: with a minor 21st-century twist or two, not much has changed in Two-Story-Foyer-with-Granite-Countertopville.

Clifford Adams was the 'doctor' behind the long-running Can This Marriage Be Saved column in Ladies Home Journal. And guess what? The problems in the marriage were always the woman's fault. Even when the husband was beating the crap out of her. The wife was told to make sure she was well-groomed and pretty. The house…

Would wear.

I think as a society we have overlooked the importance of a Trousseau. It seems appropriate that as you step into adulthood you should do so with an adult wardrobe so that people take you seriously. I think it should be like a graduation party or a mar mitzvah for older teens. A socially supported rite of passage…

I am going to fuck you with great rigor.

I wish people still wore wedding dresses like this. So flattering. I miss poofy veils, too, and hope they come back in style.

Speaking of "Mad Men", before she married, Betty was not only a bilingual fashion model who lived on her own in Rome for a while, but also had a degree In anthropology. Think of that the next time you see a rerun of Bets defrosting the freezer and putting in new shelf paper while slugging red wine.

All I learned from this is that Modern Bride mentioned female orgasms before Playboy did.