We have a spider problem, but my cat doesn't care. There'll be spiders crawling up a wall two inches from his head and he'll do absolutely nothing. But he is such a good pooper!

Selfises are the only pictures I don't blink in. I even blinked a few times for my driver's licence.

There's something really wrong with my cat. I got him a nice clean box. I showed it to him. He rubbed against it twice, peeked inside, and went to lounge in a patch of sunlight on the window sill. I bought some catnip oil, slathered the box with it, but he's still not interested. Should I get a heating pad?

Sounds more like a "parent" service. I can imagine beleaguered parents doing all that random crap for their fully grown children.

I was really confused about that name. First thing that pops into my head at reading "wife" was "someone who spends all your money."

We have separate beds now. I haven't slept better in years! There's no one to elbow me awake at 2AM, no one to kick him when I have running dreams, and there's no MORNING BREATH. I hate morning breath.

I think it does., but slowly. Sounds gross, though.

Or any other -ism.

Can I sign this from another country? Would it count?

"Free speech" seems to trump basic decency in the minds of many Americans.

I don't think it's as simple as all overweight people being unhealthy. The only fat I think is unhealthy about is visceral fat, and 'thin' people can have that, too.

Self-hating Republican women probably agreed with everything he said.

They show way too much of the random strangers I'm not intimately acquainted with. And no, I can't 'just don't look' —I don't have selective vision about ugly things. This goes for anything tacky.

I thought T-partiers hated oppressive laws.

I didn't think we could have unleashed anything worse than Bieber upon the world, but Cruz actually gets to influence the politics of an entire nation.

It's nearly impossible for me to not find vertebrates not cute,

It's like these people never got to the childhood developmental stage where they start to comprehend metaphors.

Heavier people get all kinds of flack for not being skinny. I get that. But it's annoying to read 'coathanger' comments in Jezebel articles of all places. We need to stop telling people their bodies are imperfect/disgusting/unnatural.

Those are fair use disclaimers, however, and the test for copyright infringement regarding derivative work seems kind of messy.

OMG I need to do that too! I don't remember 99% of what I read as a teenager, but how anyone forget Sabriel?