Fuck yeah!

If I want to watch something that makes me feel worse, there’s always the news.

Will picked the wrong hill to die on.

Sure, Mariah’s a diva and a drunk, but I have had an eternal crush on her since the first time I saw her in the Vision of Love video. She can still get it.

He obviously got distracted while eating a W.

I want to call her and ask her to be my third grandmother.

He also roots for hernias and fire ants.

Word. Homeboy was pure genius. I need more of him in my collection; bonus points for Roberta Flack duets.

He was wired, so “What do you say, you ungrateful little shit?” wouldn’t have gone over so well.

The best move the Phillies never made.

Same here. I miss being able to hold my pee for an hour and a half.

It was on like Donkey Kong. Donaghy grabbed a hammer, and his daughter saw everything around her was glowing.

It isn’t Christmas until I hear this song. RIP to both my grandmothers.

To me, it looked like he was either trying to will himself out of his chair, or he had finished a level of BurgerTime.

NEVER FORGET

That’s a complicated question. Does he make his own alcohol? How good is his internet connection?

Add a zero to the number you’re multiplying, then subtract the number you’re multiplying.

But she probably squirts, so that would almost make it worth it.

That’s like saying Bad isn’t as solid as Thriller.

Mind you, I’m rusty, but... let’s say 7 plus a possible.