That's such a hilarious and grotesque description... I'm sure your dog is a good dog and lovely in every other way, but reading that made me appreciate my cats' adorable little non-staring eyeball buttholes so, so much.

The small circle of friends I actually exchange real mail with all like that sort of thing, so it's more of a bonus than a deterrent. I do have several acquaintances who are always inviting me to their children's birthdays even though I hate that sort of thing, and I always give the kids a glitterbombed birthday card…

I've been doing this sort of thing (but to friends, not enemies) for years, whenever I send a card. It's fairly easy to do and glitter doesn't get everywhere if you use a funnel. I can't imagine someone being lazy or glitterphobic enough to pay someone $10 to do it for them. :P

I do the same thing, watch a few good shows through services like Netflix on my computer, and don't own a TV. When I visit friends or family that have and watch TV regularly, it is actually pretty shocking. Vapid is an excellent word for it. It's disturbing when you imagine parking yourself in front of that shit and…

This makes me so mad, I can't even see the humor in her name here. I live in an apartment, and I worry about some asshole starting a fire in their own unit and killing my cats and destroying all my possessions. I hope she gets stuck in prison FOREVER. How inconsiderate do you have to be to do something like that? >:(

That's awful, and also kind of hilarious in a horrible way (yes, I do feel like a monster for thinking it's hilarious). I'm curious why you mention, "... as an Asian man...", is that a normal viewpoint in any Asian culture?

I had to Google them, of course. :(

That dress Emma Stone is wearing in her cover photo is just incredible. <3

Grumpy Cat's time is never over. There always has to be room for more cat celebrities, even if it means that we have to eliminate human celebrities to make room.

Mine as well, but I'd also settle for a basket of fat, sleepy kittens. Or a chariot pulled by giant wombats.

You should just get yourself the kitten (or two kittens). Even someone who claims there is no room for a kitten isn't likely going to demand that you return a kitten that you've already brought home and named and bonded with. This article made me sad, because now all I can think about is a blind, abused, tiny baby cat…

I feel lucky that I missed having a Christmas birthday by three days. But if I hadn't, I still don't know that I'd want to spend my birthday shopping at any of the 24hour pharmacies/ drugstores that are open that day. :(

I like to imagine that they'll be space aliens. :)

I work at a retail store that is open every day, even Christmas. I'm always surprised by how many people come in on Christmas day to buy truly last minute gifts. I understand if you're stopping by someone's home unexpectedly and want a hostess gift or something, but there aren't many valid excuses if you've waited…

Seriously? I'd rather deal with a dozen angry Komodo dragons or crocodiles (Saltwater, Nile, or otherwise) than I would an angry chimpanzee. And how do you put a bonobo right underneath chimpanzees? Bonobos are some of the most peaceful apes ever, chimps will rip off your face, hands, and/ or genitals.

I dealt with severe bullying in school, but things were bad enough at home that everything at school just kind of blurred together. I can't say I even remember many of the first names of anyone who liked to torment me at school, but even if I did, I don't think they'd be worth taking the time to "get revenge" on them.…

I love that Christmas photo with the cat and his man so much it nearly makes me teary eyed. And I love how Blair looks like he's just baring his teeth at the photographer, and his wife is kind of comforting him/ holding him back, like he's a nervous dog.

I would wear that. I wouldn't spend that much money on it... it's more something I would make rather than buy. But I would seriously consider wearing that.

I've given cats pumpkin as a laxative before, and knowing how effective it can be, I can only imagine the horror of dealing with the aftermath of a Great Dane eating a whole giant Costco pumpkin pie. D: D: D:

If it weren't for the fact that my cats are indoor cats, if something like that happened to me, I'd assume one of them had done it. Like, leaving a bird on the doorstep because they're trying to feed you.