Ducky has some great taste in music.

Can we as The Internet just all band together to make severance tacos a reality. Like, I’m not even kidding here.

OMFG severance tacos. I am died. And I feel you, I don’t take Chantix, but I have very fucked up dreams on the reg and a lot of them are so vivid, when I first wake up I can’t distinguish reality from them.

I’d like a new Gawker media site composed entirely of pink-lemonade-and-magnolias’ dreams.

Nah. I figure if the bride or groom has sex with somebody else at the wedding, that’s on them and not the guest.

Those are some vivid fucking dreams. Severance tacos—the best worst way to get fired.

And yet, “severance tacos” stuck with me from the first time you posted this. Go figure.

I love this!

I am 28 years old and just thinking about how much the world has changed in the time I can remember makes me anxious. I can’t even imagine how difficult it would be to navigate the world if I were just thrown into it like that.

You’re getting some amazing ideas for bad horror movies tho

I’ll bet the parent who complained has a kid who’s a shit.

Unforgivable Wedding Actions, Ranked:

Black hole sun, won’t you come and wash away the rain...

I’m pretty sure the official Emily Post guidelines for when two ignorant asshats interrupt your wedding with a wedding proposal is to CUT THEM MOTHERFUCKERS UNTIL THEY BLEED.

Are the others “Macking on bride/groom during wedding” “wearing white when you are not bride” “starting a fist fight” and “requesting the macerena”?

It is sad that this needed to be written. But, THANK YOU.

Ouch, Bride. That dress looks absolutely painful for her breasts. Can she breathe? Never be afraid of using your real size, ladies. Just because it zips up doesn’t mean it fits. That thing looks painful and unflattering.

In pre-internet days, I once got written up at work for laughing too loud. It was “distracting” to “people who actually wanted to work.” The next day, one of my colleagues told me that hearing me laugh always made her able to stand work because it reminded her that they can’t suck all the joy out of living.

When I taught, I got called into the office when a parent caught me buying beer and tampons at the grocery store.