I guess my question is, is that a genuine thigh gap or are his legs just unable to close because of that angry red heap of junk he's toting around?

Scroburns?

My husband looked at these and very matter of factly said it would be impractical to keep up with the manscaping that would make this a practical everyday look. Just like his sideburns, he would always be worried about whether they were even or not. Not for him he said.

It does appear that each of these ladies asked themselves the right question before hitting the stage: WWLD? What would Liberace do? Miss Switzerland didnt get the memo.

Quite frankly I'm sorry that this impressive showing of peen is surrounded by really awful man-dresses.

I thought his knobby knees were the story here. Awful knees on that one.

The happiest and most chill kid I know has the parents you describe. I love that they've managed to do this. I've noticed that their daughter exhibits far less anxiety and clinginess than most children her age. She's comfortable doing her own thing and has a lot of confidence. I credit their parenting style. …

I love being told that I'm missing out on "the best experience ever". Or that I will never be as much of a special snowflake as you because I'm not a mother. Or that I will change my mind somewhere down the road and want kids. Blah blah blah. That kind of crap really pisses me off. I know what I want and don't…

Well golly gee if somebody had told me there was a tampon scene, I totally would have read this series (nope). Seriously, none of the ladies in my office, who insisted I HAD to read this, mentioned this scene. They were just going to let me mosey on into that without ANY warning. Jerks.

I'm pretty sure they don't need your help to "set women back". Because Spanx and Lilly Pulitzer shift dresses are totes what women are all about.

Cape Town, South Africa is where that jabot was made. She's got one for every occasion!

Spanx used to sell a cheaper version of their pantyhose at Target until Target did away with their plus size line in stores (assholes). Those were pretty great. As far as actual Spanx, they just pushed my bladder into places it was not meant to be. Maybe I did it wrong. Perhaps the Vaseline is to get into the…

You really were better off not saying anything at all. You've just confirmed what we already knew. You have no class and you are a dick.

I can't explain why, but the two words that pop into my head when I see this guy are "goblin dick". I've never seen a goblin dick, but I imagine it looks like Chuck somehow.

"Both french manicure and cherry nail polish are available."

Oh god! That is so much worse. Gah! I will never be able to look at shelter puppies the same way again.

I must be doing something wrong. I'm wearing my lusty yoga pants today and all my husband has done is continue to play Grand Theft Auto. My dog hasn't even tried to hump my lustypants clad leg. I feel sad now.

I'm hanging my head in total shame. He is forever stuck in my head as "shaved balls guy". Ugh.

Oh boy. Haven't thought about this in a long time. Thanks for helping me dig this nightmare up from it's grave. It wasn't just the guy that was embarrassing, it was every sexual encounter we had involved some level of cringeworthiness...ok, the whole relationship was stunning fucktardery. I'm so ashamed, yet....

Reminds me of a collegue of mine that was mother to 2 young boys and married. She came in one day in a tizzy and announced that there were "penises everywhere". She went on to explain that she felt "surrounded by penises" at home and that she was tired of "seeing penises". If I could have recorded her rant in…