The douchepocalypse™.

Jeez. It really is time we end the practice of tipping once and for all. The paycheck of a waiter shouldn’t depend on whether a customer is a total dick or not.

I would mock, but I’m pretty sure I’d embarrass myself if I was ever an actual contestant.

I rolled a joint with bible paper, rookie move

I dunno man- something about his Hobbity face. That’s a goddamn Shire mug right there.

Me reading the headline: “Oh man, I hope she pounded it.”
Me reading the article:

Good thing you’re here .... to reMIIIIIND them...

“Eighteen hundred and froze to death” is pretty cute for Victorian humor. A+, would recommend this snark.

The woman then said “I don’t eat anything pureed”—apparently her reason for needing whole potatoes.

I had a woman on the phone yesterday ordering a fruit tree, and it was loud in the store PLUS there was a bad connection, so I asked her to spell the name of the variety. She says, “T as in Tom.” And I say, “B as in Bomb squad?” And she says, “No, T as in Tom.” And I say, “P as in Palm tree?” And she says, “NO, T AS…

I adore your username.

I am the Casey that submitted the story and this just made my day.

I would NEVER think of using Open Table this way. I use it when I need to book a reservation AHEAD OF TIME for a few people for a work dinner thing. (It is great to have the electronic confirmation to send to those attending) But I would never use Open Table while at the restaurant in order to prove the server wrong…

I could—and might—do a third week of these things. We’ll see. I get easily twice as many Terrible Customer submissions as any other subject matter.

This comment is everything wrong with America.

Why does everyone complain that deli sandwiches are not made the way they are in NYC, then stare expectantly as if I can do something about that? NYC is hundred of miles away from where I am serving you. Do you think I have Carmen Sandiego stuffed up my ass, and can instantly whip her out and transport us to the Land…

I had the exact same thought. Someone orders something like that and you immediately know they are awful. And a coffee with 4 creams and 8 (8!) sugars?

@Wolfabeast: I die! Amazing!