Season 3 may never be topped by any reality show ever. Scary Island is perfection, and I still reference it to this day. I mean, Kelly calls Bethenny out for being rude to “her friend Gwyneth” (Paltrow, of course); she continually reminds Bethenny that she is a COOK, not a CHEF; Jill comes in like a goddamned bomb;…

who has since moved to Florida

No idea what this is. I tried it once and immediately spit it into the sink. Tastes like leprechaun piss laced with honey.

No part of the Maryland shore faces Delaware. Maryland is on both sides of the Chesapeake — the mainland and the Delmarva peninsula — and the Delmarva side has a decent sized Atlantic frontage. Maryland wraps completely around the Chesapeake, whereas Delaware never touches it.

Fluffo is just Crisco — it’s vegetable shortening, and it’s even made by Crisco.

They sent her to live at Shady Pines.

Yes. It is still so. Any Cuban who puts a foot down on American soil is automatically a legal resident and can apply for citizenship. There is literally no such thing as an illegal Cuban immigrant.

Scale of 1-10, how punchable? 17/10.

This is nuts. NUTS. When Macy Grey’s inexplicable spoken word isn’t the weirdest part, you know you've found something wonderful.

LOVE

Good God-fearing hair. This hair is right with the Lord.

Vertices off the Miami coast are the Bahamas.

I live in Florida, about halfway down the peninsula, and our deciduous trees usually drop their leaves in Jan-Feb, just in time for the new ones to show up in Feb-Mar. They don’t cycle through colors, as a rule — they just turn brown and fall off. Sometimes you get a few yellow ones, but never the full spectrum of…

“Today, you can be famous just from being on a reality, well, doing—you don’t really have to do much, but you kinda gotta do a lot. And then your whole life is just about being a celebrity and that’s what some people aspire to, because it’s easy and because then everybody knows them and all they see is the bright side…

Also, there’s the fact that it’s a peptide, which means it most likely will be an injectable. Most proteins and peptides won’t survive in the GI tract long enough to be absorbed — it’s why insulin and things like Byetta and Victoza are injectables instead of orals. And we already have one injectable that treats ED,…

HOW DO I GET THIS MUCH LIFT?

Do what you love; the money will follow.

- Once you are past the age of 30, you should not be drinking hard liquor or mixed drinks when going out.

What does your gender presentation have to do with it? All you know about me is my name, literally nothing else. Offensive is the stereotype you have just applied to me, not my assertion that you are far more likely to die of more common causes — that is simply math.

No, I'm realistic. So far, Ebola has claimed 0.00000000003% of Americans living in the US. In contrast, every year: