aah yes, I was looking for the She Didn’t Handle This Like I Would Have, So Don’t Believe Her comment.

Write “F¥ck You” across it in sharpie and send it back to her.

You’ve sparked a great and yet terrible memory for me. My mother excited *thought* that she had purchased a really tall cup only to realize that it was a toilet brush holder.

He said he was concerned his passport would get stolen, which still makes no sense.

A) fuck your mom, what a horrific way to treat your child

That’s really the frustrating thing about learning a new language, the realization that a five-year-old communicates better than you. Twice I’ve studied a foreign language and then moved to a country where that’s the native language, and that learning curve once you get there...

As a side gig I sometimes do editing of bilingual or trilingual work where the organization gives the English translation a shot and then sends it over to me to revise. They’re often bashful about it but I always tell them, “Your English is a hell of a lot better than my __________” (insert originating language.)

Also, as a professional translator (German → English) and proofreader (and writing my second dissertation in English) let me also assure Miss Bigot that English itself is really fucking hard for non-native speakers, and that most US Americans who, as you note, never bother to learn a second language have no damn clue…

I’m sure Miss USA’s Vietnamese is flawless.

“... rought her to the 2017 Super Bowl for their first date. “That’s a power move!””

I know men like this. They think their partners should give them a handshake and a blowjob everytime they pick up after themselves. 

I’m not sure how many millenial men would openly admit to having regressive beliefs about splitting domestic work when both partners (in a hetero pairing) work full time, but I 100% have experience with millenial men who preach gender equality as much as possible but do jack shit around the house & with their children …

My b-i-l who's in his 60s has two artificial knees and he's a ski instructor. He complains about a lot of things, but not his knees.

But did they find shirts that are completely opaque? Opaque to the point that it doesn’t matter what color bra I’m wearing? Those are really effing hard to find and I’ve worn the life out of most of the ones I have. No, the solution isn’t to layer two shirts or wear a camisole underneath. If I’m paying for a shirt, it…

I currently have, on my office desk, the following:
-A temperature-controlled electric water heater that can heat water to between 120 and 212F, in 5 degree increments
-This cast iron, enameled teapot

There’s a warehouse where they hand blend teas here, and every year they open their doors so people can come and sample their hundreds of varieties for free. I went last year and ended up finding a ton of new flavors I never would have even considered. I think just based on variety alone, tea over coffee.

It’s true. Coffee is the workhorse that helps me do terrible things like dusting and dealing with morning traffic. Tea is the beverage I RELAX with. It's the drink I share with treasured company. Coffee is for working guests. Tea is for FRIENDS. No friend of mine leaves my threshold without two cups. 

NO! You suck! Tea is amazing.

Are there “tea over coffee” snobs? They can’t be nearly as numerous as the “coffee is good tea is for wimps” crowd.

Then again everyone I actually know who likes either, likes both. Equal opportunity hot beverage enthusiasts. 

Right, that’s it. You Yanks have gone too far this time.