Ha, ha ha, haaaa. Try being a female scientist half way to a Ph.D in plant genetics, trapped in a conversation about GMOs at a party with some white guy with dreads. The layers of insult and irony in this scenario, which is somehow a fixture of my life....

"That's because dudes are always cheating."

I found a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom wastebasket. Two years after my vasectomy.

I'd been dating this guy for two and a half years, and he came down with a sore throat that just wouldn't go away. He kept asking me to look at his throat and tell him if I thought he had tonsillitis...for like three weeks. Yeah, you could see all these horrible pustules at the back of his throat. I kept telling…

From my boss.

I may take the cake for cheating stories. Let me set the scene. When my son was born, my husband had been acting strange, but I chalked it up to pre-baby jitters. After 2 days of labor and a health baby, I was exhausted. We went to sleep the first night and I woke up to my husband texting. I asked who he was talking…

When my girlfriend broke up with me on my birthday. I was enlisted in the Air Force undergoing chemotherapy and radiation for colon cancer. When I underwent my first surgery (a lower anterior resection to remove the tumor) a month prior to my birthday, I was stuck in a military hospital for roughly 9 days for…

He'd just come back from a Boy Scout camp (he was a troop leader? I think that's what they're called in English) and as soon as I kissed him hello, he said, "We need to talk." I felt the familiar pang of doom in my belly. I'd been cooking all afternoon for him, but then I could hardly eat. About 11:30 pm we go…

I had to take my mother to the emergency room while I was visiting her one weekend. I ended up staying for several days because she was super sick and my dad is basically incapable of caring for a houseplant, let alone a human. When I got back to my apartment I shared with my ex, the place was totally trashed and he…

Chemicals...

All love ends in either a break up or a death. All of it. Some good times may be had in between.

Basketball in space is not legit unless it's Michael Jordan and the looney toons against aliens who harnessed the powers of our greatest basketball stars and is called Space Jam.

My birthday is a few days before Christmas, and Barbie came out the year I was four. My father was sick that year and in and out of the hospital, and my mom was working nights in a restaurant to support us.

So according to some random website calculator, $136 in 1963 is roughly $1,050 in 2015 dollars, and that five-dollar ball gown equivalent to about $38. (I can't be the only one who was curious about this.)

Your last line is wrong. Pfizer would love for Viagra to be OTC. Any company wants their drugs to be OTC whenever possible. Volume goes way, way up when people do not need a prescription and can buy it like Tylenol.

I... kind of want one. That looks really awesome and kind of pretty. Too bad the cheapest ring you can get is $122. But I learned something cool from their website!

At least it won't offend any men - they won't be able to see it.

I feel like it kind of looks like a person with a tiny head wearing harem pants.