Margaret Thatcher said, “Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to tell people you are, then you really aren’t.”

Hey Bobby, where do watermelons go in the summer? Answer: John Cougar’s Meloncamp. Carry on.

Literally nothing he has said since being elected hasn’t confirmed what we knew the whole time, that Donald Trump is a neophyte who has never actually done any hard thinking in his life, and whose only previous hard job was deciding which model he was going to hit on once he named them a winner.

I wouldn’t have used “rectified” in my letter in this situation.

Now we know what to call him. Thanks, Sean.

That’s not pedantic, it’s just logical. Also, pedantic is just something lazy people think is an insult to the correct!

People on Judge Judy do this all the time, for some reason. “Well, when she borrowed me the money, she said...” And then Judy has a fit and corrects them. “She LENT you the money, not borrow! Lent!”

Where do you live? Lapsy daisy? Da fuq?

I am currently enrolled in an MBA program and 3/4 of my classmates are 30-35 yr old white men named John, Mike or Tom and I CANNOT TELL THEM APART and it’s getting embarrassing because we’ve been in class together for 6 months and I cannot, with confidence, call any of them by their name.

hitlerious

Man, i hated rotary phones. You had to start all the way from the beginning if you made a mistake and didn’t dial the reich number.

I hope it doesn’t come to this, but part of totalitarian “total domination” is the extermination of the entirely innocent from any part of the masses as part of destroying the identity of the people; if anyone can be exterminated at any moment, there is no difference between the innocent and guilty. Make no mistake,…

I find pretty strange that they are only after Mexicans, not a single Russian, Indian, Chinese, Canadian, etc...

I am sending my congressman a gift pack of Chapstick for valentine’s day. His lips must be so chapped from kissing Trump’s ass so much. I was thinking of sending some lube and anal-ease too for easier insertion of his head up Trump’s ass, but I’m on a budget.

It hasn’t even been a month.

This can’t go on. Surely things will slow down.

Yes. I can’t believe we’re at less than a month. How will we survive?

does anyone else feel like they’ve aged like 15 years in the last 20 days?

Yes, but they were in AMERICA. In America, we clamp down on your hand like a vice, stare directly into your eyes as a display of dominance and shake until a little bit of poop falls out.

Jesus Christ. One tiny upshot to this whole national embarrassment is that I now know, without a doubt, that I am not nearly as socially awkward and embarrassing as I thought I was.