“No need to rub it in.”

Fuck these guys. Bring on the robots.

You stole my stapler app idea you motherfucker. All those minutes of hard work, down the drain. Curse you!

He probably cheated, but why would they want to have this fight in public? I’m baffled by the youths and their need to post their relationship drama on social media.

This all makes perfect sense.

That is literally an over the shoulder boulder holder

The fact that the NIH is willing to let the deal lapse without pushing for the millions of dollars they were promised is a sign of how broken the relationship with the NFL has become, thanks to the league’s heavy-handed attempts to guide the research. Though the NFL called the gift “unrestricted” when it was…

All of these movies are so fucking boring.

And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

Yo! Is that a 2 door or 4 door Yugo?

That twist at the end would make M Night Shyamalan proud. You might even call it a titty twister.

Fox Sports Board: Our numbers aren’t great on our website, we need to get them up to get more ad revenue.

Finally! Somebody in business who understands why Tim Berners-Lee created the World Wide Web in the first place. As Berners-Lee explained in his famous “Eyeballs Manifesto”, “The real purpose of the Web and, by the extension the Internet as a whole, is to get people to watch more television and stop wasting time…

I have to strongly protest! The Eephus pitch was named after Confederate Colonel Jehoshaphat Q. Eephus, who was notoriously slow in freeing his slaves even after a Reconstruction government took over operation of home state of Tennessee. In off-season exhibitions with Negro League teams, cracker MLB pitchers used to…

The sheer randomness of their inception, though, means it would be totally fine if we one day decided to change them, too.

When I think of shit umpires, those are the two that immediately come to mind.

Him and Bucknor are dumpster fires.

I’m not here to say whether Torre is a bigot or not, Hernández may have a point in regards to white umps getting promoted. I do know that Hernández doesn’t get to work World Series games because he’s a fucking terrible umpire.

See, this kinda shit never would have happened in my family. We were raised right and always taught that if you never stand out or amount to shit, no one will expect you to help them out. Duh.

The greatest trick Phil Jackson ever pulled was to convince James Dolan he wanted to stay.