What if I told you...

Deadspin commenters can see the future:

I’m pretty sure McGovern voters were saying the same thing 48 years ago.

Barry, I hate to break it to you but Lincoln Chafee dropped out of the race months ago and this write-in fantasy of yours is doomed to fail.

Who hasn’t?

The NFL needs to give this guy another chance, it’s not like he killed five hookers while at SMU.

Not surprising that he has only one walk and zero runs, though.

Pablo Sandoval: [stomach stapling completed in time for Opening Day 2041]

Realized ONE of the things that’s weird about the photo - the eyes are p-shopped so much, they’re like Twilight meets the Walking Dead.

Come on now, Houston. Don’t you wish you had another ring? I know I do.

Diana hasn’t been ignoring what’s going on down at Baylor.

Fucking relax.

I spent the 8th grade as the only non-white student in an affluent suburban school. Needless to say, many students made it their priority to make that year suck. Thankfully there were a couple normal kids that chose not to torture me, and of them there was a young woman I’ll never forget because of the time she so…

Also:

Cheap gag is cheap.

Seriously... reminds me of that Emma Goldman quote, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.”

It’s exhausting being outraged all the time, and constantly letting perfect be the enemy of good.

anyone else just...really tired,

But is it more offensive to assume transgender people lack any sense of humor about their lives at all?