This time around she was the only senator to hold skittish Keebler Elf Jeff Sessions accountable during his astonishingly numb and condescending testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday afternoon.

We are going to have talk about your understanding of the world “arsenal” (and maybe “terrible” as well).

My Ketamine dealer was worried about a similar lawsuit. All it took to get him to start calling his “Horsey” was a single letter from a lawyer.

FIFA Executive added: “Look, their check cleared. What are you goin’ do?”

Good for her. She won’t get the nomination and if she did (which she won’t), she will lose by double digits. Georgia is still Georgia. Dems seem to forget that. They might learn it when the idiot Handel wins.

Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.

It was always about his penis size.

Are you telling me you wouldn’t watch Kayne and Roseanne Barr in the celebrity skeet shooting finals? That shit would be epic.

The argument appears to work like this -

Just because Sessions is a racist, it does not follow that everything he says is racist. He doesn’t consider Hawaii a real state because it’s way the fuck out in the Pacific. It’s an ignorant position but it is not racist.

Who doesn’t want to start a festival with a bang?

Save the headline. You’ll need it later.

Universal statement for all Bill Simmons news: “Tell Bill Simmons to go fuck himself.”

At least he didn’t shoot her through a door.

In this case, they might be giving Schumer 1 star because she is literally doing jokes that comics have done before.

This is only “Unsurprisingly controversial” because we live in an age where everything is “unsurprisingly controversial”. Sometimes pointing out a bad joke should be enough and then everyone can move the fuck on. #tedious

Jezebel runs head long into intersectionality; doesn’t like it much.

Human Centipede

“The proper aim is to try and reconstruct society on such a basis that poverty will be impossible...It is immoral to use private property in order to alleviate the horrible evils that result from the institution of private property. It is both immoral and unfair.” - Oscar Wilde

No good deed...