You’ve seen women smash their eyes against doorknobs? And more than once? And, in addition to this, get friends to punch them?

Just one thing: why would anyone criticize Clinton’s pivot on gay marriage? What’s the argument there? She was wrong and so she should stay wrong, because...? She should never come around to the correct position? She should have been right in the first place, but she wasn’t so fuck her?

Go in, start reading about Denver International Airport conspiracy theories. I DARE YOU.

Hey man, this dude was taking orders from God. GOD himself. Not his hippy-dippy son.

I’m late. Don’t know if this will get read. But my daughter who doesn’t speak has made a whole ton of friends in the neighbourhood. We did our annual clean up and after she spent two hours with all the neighbourhood kids and she was chatting up a storm! A bunch of us have just decided that our kids will be free range.…

You’re there for her and making sure that she will be properly cared for. What more can you do? You’re a human being, not a god with endless energy and healing abilities. You need to start preparing yourself, too, for when she is gone.

Hello my fellow Jezebellians!! I got a job! After being unemployed for over a year I finally got a job with a wonderful company. However I just came down with a damn fever and sore throat, so now my stress is sky high and I’m terrified I won’t be better by Monday, but come hell or high water I’m going in. Can anyone…

EMT here. A couple things-

Glad to hear he's ok. I've worked in hospitals for 30 years so trust me when I tell you many, many people don't come in when they should. Actually health care workers are often the worst. There's people who don't get any testing because of fear. So anyway your mom should in no way feel guilty. It's simply human nature…

NEVER FORGET

He cracked me up on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. He used to write the jokes in bazooka gum! He is my 7 year old self’s hero.

Siddhartha had a wife, when he became Buddha he didn’t have a wife because he no longer had any earthly attachments ;)

Everyone needs to read this:

Here, have one of the greatest videos ever to grace the Internet:

There are 2 types of girls in Portland: girls who shop at Anthropologie and girls who shop at The Bins.

As a historian and an Irishman, I thoroughly approve of this. I mean, yes, there are some famously awful things that the Irish people have gone through over the years (the aforementioned research from the article, Oliver Cromwell, the Irish Famine, etc.), but the important thing to remember is that the Irish were…

When I was in elementary school I had THE coolest gym teacher who did a segment devoted to square dancing. I actually borrowed his records and we danced in my basement when I threw a 6th grade party.

I wouldn’t trust myself in that situation. It would probably go like this:

Scalia, 79, was a guest at the Cibolo Creek Ranch, a resort in the Big Bend region south of Marfa.

I love that guy at the top! He’s a bit Lorax-y to me, in a good way.