I dunno, Mark, they can be kinda pushy...

All hail Bird Jesus.

What you're calling "a government cellphone" most likely refers to phones subsidized by phone companies. The Lifeline program began with the Telecom Act of 1934 as a subsidy to local service, paid for by the high costs of long distance service. After the breakup of AT&T in 1984 (under Ronald Reagan), the costs were…

Just to let you know, I earmarked my tax money to pay for this particular guy's pizza, so lay the fuck off. It's paid for, we got it covered.

Those ungrateful Poors. Obviously wasting money they clearly don't deserve.

"As a palate cleanser for the last two weeks, please enjoy some stories of terrible customers receiving their just rewards."

Beck and I have shared a one-sided love affair since the Great Mutations-Gate of 1998, and I cannot tell you how fucking thrilled I was when he won. Well gaddammned deserved. STUFF IT, KANYE. SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO ENJOY THE VIEW.

I like Kanye but I have to agree with you.

So going around trashing another artist to make your point is "respecting artistry"?? Ok Kanye. Sit the fuck down.

Good evening, Jezzies! I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

RN here. He should be checking his blood sugar levels if he's on a drug called glyclazide and of course if he's on insulin of any sort. He needs to check the state of his feet regularly, as the feeling is much decreased. Somebody that's not him should cut his toenails (preferably a podiatrist). Regular gentle…

Just be honest with her. At first, this sounded like a really casual event. But financial considerations and limited time off for work (which you already have earmarked for family visits, medical stuff, whatever) mean you really can't participate as needed. But such an honor, thank you for asking me, let me know if…

It's not a movie, but have you read Devil in the White City (I mean, you probably have). So engrossing! I would say I have an average level of interest in serial killers and the parts that dealt with that were by far my favorite (and the whole book is good, so).

Here's a link to the gofundme info to help support the baker's legal fund.

I've always felt this way about Daniel Craig, who I find impossibly hot. But his face isn't exactly handsome — it's kind of brutal looking. And his ears are kind of oddly low. He always looks like a boxer who just got the shit kicked out of him (in a spotless tuxedo). But that makes him more hot? Also, his abs. And…

What the fuck lady? You can't drop tantalizing hints and not tell us the whole story! If we don't know the details we have no way of guessing whether your kids are narcissistic assfaces who cut you out of their lives for no good reason (possible) or whether you're a horrible mother and that's why your kids want…