The Brand! Why doesn't anyone ever think about The Brand?

you forgot to mention the fact that it is an actual doubleheader with the same teams.

"My daughter cried, at first."

WANTED: Motivated person with good basketball skills who can also be convincing as a prehistoric creature.

Oh no, poor Drake!

You're, like, not all that swift, eh?

"Wait, what?" - Steubenville

Johnny Carson probably would have been a pretty solid deadspin commenter.

I hope the NFL learned a very valuable lesson here: little kids are fucking morons.

Peyton Manning keeps his jersey number updated to match his 40 time. 14 in high school, 16 in college, and now 18 (seconds) in the NFL.

It's why Manning is one of our favorite QBs: he's been a crafty veteran since he was 19 years old.

Also, if you have a picture of Peyton Manning's naked bootleg, please email us. We'll pay you $307.80 for it.

Texans' Worst Defender

It's true. Romo is infinitely complex and incapable of description.

The only difference between Darren Rovell and a Scientologist is that the business school marketing professor got to his empty, soulless head before the guy with the E-meter and the copy of Dianetics did.

Whenever Rovell tweets dumb shit, I think about the tweet he sent out on the day news broke that Hope Solo's football-player husband was arrested for domestic violence. Whatever actually happened between Hope Solo and Jerramy Stevens, the complexities of a relationship between two actual humans and the horrors of…

"...the ultimate goal of both parties is to essentially become highly accomplished and well-known whores."

I think you meant to misspell "their" as "they're," shithead.