Heathcliff was the better orange cat. 

Seriously, this meeting would have me believe the demographics of the town are solidly above the age where carrying a pregnancy to term or not is no longer a pressing issue... 

‘Dem ol’ duke boys will have to crank up the general lee to get daisy out of the city limits faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.

This list is about Albert having a job indoors with no heavy lifting.

What is this list even about? It makes no sense whatsoever, you have states in several categories of I don't know what. Want to clear this up please?.

I also accidentally left Maryland out of the list of states that are partially Appalachia. This oversight has been corrected.

Copy that for eastern Wyoming.

Nothing is worse than I-70. You get past the hilly part of Kansas and it’s just wheat for hours and hours and hours. There aren’t even any billboards or cows.

Colorado’s taxonomy was of utmost pertinence to me, because I wanted it acknowledged that half our state basically is the damned midwest, but then we have this big strip of San Diego right in the middle, and a bunch of mountain splendor/weirdness just to the west of that.

literally half of colorado is in the plains.  The mountains start 10 miles west of Denver.  Everything to the east is the great plains.  It’s basically Kansas east of Denver. 

This is peak Jezebel these days. Making up a “feud” between two women because the twentysomething hacks who work for Jez only understand things in terms of the teenage Internet drama who’s breast they all suckled at.

Pitting two women against each other because the rich-but-not-famous one SLIGHTLY leaned over the rich-and-famous one to briefly talk to the latter's rich-and-famous husband. This truly is the content I come to Jezebel for.

These photos have cured my shoe addiction. Thank you for your service Joan.

I’m going to ignore your 2nd paragraph, but I see your point now. 

If they win then France will be World Champions in both the men’s and women’s game.

I think his skin looks weird for an adult, hetero-cis dude? Dewy is usually something women and gay men aspire to. It’s rare and therefore kind of strange to see it on an otherwise bland straight man. That said, yes, his skin is clear and poreless which is definitely a look I’ve wished that mine had.

Yeah, I’m thinking that’s the actual problem here, not the solution - he’s got so much spackle his skin doesn’t look human.

Much like his wife and in-laws, I think the problem is less his make up and more that he had bad plastic surgery. It looks like he got a new chin, lip injections, and one or more facelifts.

If anything is to be taken from this story, is the reiteration of the fact that I hate Drake.

Is that jubilant Mandy Moore pic/post appropriate when the Everest summit is a massive death scene right now? It’s all over the news that people are up there dying b/c of the congestion. Seems a little tone deaf.