Gwen and Blake make me irrationally angry. I don’t believe they really are together, I think it’s a total publicity stunt and I probably sound crazy but hey, is 2017 and facts don’t matter anymore.

I am trying to decide who I find more annoying between Giada de Laurentiis, Gwen Stefani and Blake Shenton.

Jeter will bring A-Rod on board, but then refuse to allow him to perform whatever business skills he’s better suited to perform than Jeter.

Look, I’ll be the first to say J-Lo isn’t as hot as she was when she was just a Fly Girl on In Living Color but to compare her looks to a pterodactyl seems kind of harsh don’t you think?

I met a nice tourist couple from Calgary a while back and the husband and I got to talking football and it turns out Jeff Garcia is a GOD in Calgary.

In Nick Foles’ defense, he didn’t do much after leaving Philly because he was playing for Jeff Fisher and the St. Louis Rams. He was pretty good when he was in Philly.

I would get an Eagles tattoo if that happens and I barely even follow the NFL.

I am convinced, because I am a cynical bastard, that this is part of Jeter’s long con to eventually become a managing partner/part owner of the Yankees, when the Steinbrenners eventually sell. Get some name experience in this role with the Marlins with an eye to moving on.

Is he at least sending a nice gift basket in his absence?

I like how FB keeps making the mobile version shittier and shittier, trying to force users (like myself) who don’t want the app rummaging around in the guts of our phones to switch. All it does is slowly make you realize you don’t give a fuck about scrolling past 20 super-racist memes from your idiot cousins to see 5…

This. Former adult film actress here, emphasis on the actress. The sex, if you can call it that, is so mechanical. It truly is work, you’re often having to keep the D very shallow because that’s more appeasing to the eye so you’re really being penetrated over and over as opposed to just regular schmegular fucking.…

“Twitter has nothing to do with this story.”

It’s almost like communicating through Twitter isn’t good for our mental health.

Their mom’s basement doesn’t count?

If it makes you feel any better, Rosen could be Joe Montana reincarnated and he would still suck on the Browns.

Sashi’s whole strategy was built around this upcoming draft and offseason. Yes, the team is very butt but Sashi should have gotten one more season. Apparently he and Hue Jackson haven’t been on speaking terms, probably since the whole Jackson trying to trade the house for AJ fucking Mccarron, and Haslam sided with…

 Herm appreciates the suggestion, but here at ASU he is going to start small, with the Bike shorts.

You don’t hire Herm Edwards because you expect him to know much about football in 2017.

It wouldn’t be a clean division of borders, it’d be an ugly, multi-front civil war. People who live in Atlanta or Nashville, for example, have far more in common with people in Chicago or San Francisco than people in rural Tennessee or Georgia. The divisions in the country aren’t Coastal/Flyover, they’re urban/rural.…

If you’re interested in this thought exercise I highly recommend The Nine Nations of North America. It even deals with Canada’s Vancouver/Alberta-Oil/Quebec issues. Read it this summer even though it was written in the 80's but holy shit does it highlight a lot of the current issues post election.