I want to take a leaf out of that guy’s book and say creative things about his prostate.

This is not a milkmaid dress. Milkmaids were practical women who dealt with cows.

EMERGING threat??!! WTF??!!

No. Please.

Well, they never said WHAT kind of criminals they were talking about...

Wallmart does feng shui?

Yeah, that. Really sorry (and worried TBH) for the friends I have over the pond, but seriously, keep your pseudo religious bullshit contained. We got enough problems.

Well, they can cackle. Since, ya know, they’re gonna get away with it...

Well, at least for once you don’t have to torture actual History to include the sex. We’re talking about a woman who had a dedicated sex room with a penises table...

Where do I apply? I’m a housekeeper by trade, a former upholsterer, a seamstress and a good cook .

I was a bit too old to follow that, it was more my little sis thing, but I can still remember the Brenda hate. It was ridiculous, people resented her for simply breathing. A few weeks of that, and all I could think was: “this poor woman”

Phalluses were symbols of fertility and luck in Roman times, and people were not afraid of (male, female was another kettle of fish entirely) nudity, that came later with Christianity.

Something he ate, no doubt.

And corsets were the monstrous tools of the patriarchy for about… Yeah, around 6 centuries. Then the “modern” women were liberated from the “torture instrument” and FREE!!!

I suppose he shot himself in the head… Twice.

Considering what Disney does to any older stories they can put their hands on (Hugo didn’t write the Hunchback of Notre Dame, he wrote Notre Dame de Paris, for God’s sake!), without anybody raising an eyebrow, this silliness his friggin’ stoopid.

As a 53 years old with irritable bowel syndrome, I do not even want to contemplate a thong.

And to frighten everyone even more: E.L James is the present time prophet.

He actually has a full post on the “male camel toe” on his Instagram, if you’re curious.

No, actually he’s not.