Homie, I’m also a guy, so let me just say:

You “believe” incorrectly.

Careful, you might inspire a new inductee into Swift’s Squad and the earth will spontaneously dry up and blow away into the cosmic winds from exceeding the number of superpowered Beckys that can congregate at one time in such a small amount of space...

How is this hard?

As I sit here in Florida awaiting the wrath of Irma, it’s good to know that there is a kinder, gentler side to these blowing winds. And that side is the whispy, undulating in the eye of the storm that is Teresa Jo. A person who when her commander in chief said “fuck these prisoners” did not hesitate, did not question,…

Teresa Jo was reportedly caught flexing with a 23-year-old inmate trustee who was being held on minimal charges and “authorized to perform work inside and outside of the detention center and sheriff’s office facilities.”

She can bench press 233336 wire hangers.

I didn’t even need to google it to know it’s not even close to the truth. I did, however, have to google stress relief techniques because I almost popped a vein reading that tweet.

PA? Steel to the left of me, cheesesteaks to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with hicks.

Technically, “first” was Christopher Columbus - the native Tainos of Puerto Rico were the first indigenous peoples he eradicated from this earth with dogs, diseases, and dicks... (I’ve talked about the history of this in a few other threads: http://www.theroot.com/1798671052)

Smoking, drinking, eating habits. We pretty much have one of those vices, at least. We all choose our death, whether we like to think so or not.

2008 “officially” (as in when I started to answer the religion question on census or medical forms with “pagan”), had considered myself pagan-friendly even as an atheist throughout my adult life. Discovered that side of faith thanks to the most fluff-bunny Wiccan you’d ever meet, who was my first love and who I met in…

She seems to prefer order, no doubt about it.

“Protests are confrontational, they’re chaotic, they scare people. I believe there’s a better way to express yourselves.”

Edgy? Not really. You can eat a fucking dick anyway, I guess.

Like how bad a stink do you have to have on you for someone to say ‘I don’t know him,’ but in the same interview say ‘yeah I’m good buds with a decades long serial rapist.’

Don’t let those furry bastards fool you, Amanda. They come in, all cute and fluffy, but they don’t effing leave. A year later they’ve chewed every cable you own, broken all your flower pots, permanently scarred your flesh, and terrorized your previous pets into alcoholism.

I worked myself into a rage debating with people over at Seattle Times in the comment section. Why did I do that to myself? I hate everything now.

Let’s not forget that it eclipsed the rise of the damned Wonderbra, too!

I read your statement as: “I never liked kids. I had my own kids and I liked some of them, but not all.”