Whatever she slathered on her face in that photo looks gross as fuck.

Leslie Odom Jr (understandable though)

I am waiting for Tom Petty’s cease and desist order. Please let it come.

Tom Petty is not dad music. Tom Petty is great music...uh...that my dad also happens to listen to. How dare you.

You’re kind of my new hero for this, though. #IStandWithPhyllisNefler

Other people with stage names:

I appreciate it. I like him and I don’t care who knows. He seems chill.

Good for you, girlfriend. ;)

Wow. You really outed yourself here.

I’m sorry, I can hear you looooosers over the sound of my awesomeness.

Why isn’t the musical guest Ted Nugent?

“TRUUUUUUMP!!!!!!”

I think it’s an absolute shame that it had to come to this, and I’m sure that anti-abortion activists will find something else to focus on. It’s fucking outrageous. RESPECT to Cecile Richards. I want to be her. In the meantime, I’ll keep sending money to PP.

the question is —

It’s kinda like, I just know that women make rash decisions emotionally – they make very permanent, cemented decisions – and then later, it’s kind of like it didn’t happen, or they didn’t mean for it to happen

I would like to believe this, but if that were the case wouldn’t she be using a more spirited defense than “I can’t hold my plate at parties?”

*checks to see if she accidentally clicked on The Onion*

Johnny Depp's most Oscar worthy role was in What's Eating Gilbert Grape and he didn't even get nominated for it.

““Without being able to trash the Kardashians, they just felt like their show does not have much weight any more,” says the source. Meanwhile, the Kardashians are thrilled.”

apparently it’s a bit mean lol. at least from what I read on ONTD. Also someone called Taylor Swift the “Beige Satan” on there which was pretty amazing.