My dad cried when I finally moved away from home and when I saw the tears and I cried even more because that man didn’t even cry at his mother’s funeral, and he LOVED his mom. I was 30 years old.

Thought you wrote “/exists forever”

Now I’m imagining a British constable finger puppet with an animated series:

Why do I read stories about things that I know are based %100 on bullshit and I know are only going to make me mad/sad at just how stupid so many people in our country are.

Yo, Cait, Imma let you finish, but you were married three times. THREE TIMES!

Kim Davis has appeared onstage and is sobbing into the microphone like a third-place Miss America runner-up.

<3 i just died laughing at work because of this now everything is awkward around me thanks for that

I definitely had a split-second reading of it as “DJ Anal” because I am a sex deviant /s

Wrong India, Columbus.

1) Use the coupons for the hottest salsa you can get.

Draw me like one of your French girls.

I bet these people who like winter live in Portland or Miami or San Diego or other places that don’t have real weather.

You’re lucky. She calls out her age as a defense about 6 more times.

i’m 30 years old with perfect vision.

Looks like I’ll need to revise my policy.

In other news most kids are responsible and have terrible taste, 23 is still closer to being a kid than being an adult for the most part.

I’ve literally only been alive for 23 years.

Fuck. Winter. Last year’s in particular, this is my husband (5’10”) standing on the path out our front door. I actually typically enjoy winter but this was a shit show. I booked a completely unplanned tropical vacation on this day, after seeing this picture, because I was so depressed.